Titanic
by rachel2502
Summary: Based on the movie, Titanic. Nothing on Earth could come between them. Naley.
1. The Ship Of Dreams

They called it the ship of dreams. It was a good name for it for it would take people closer to dreams than ever before. It was a ship that many people had spent years waiting for and on that day the ship finally docked at Paris, many people's dreams came true.

It was a beautiful ship, catering to both the rich and the famous, the highest rung on the social ladder, the elite, some would say and also the commoners, a more polite way of saying the poor people.

I hated that ship on sight. Hated it with malice. I saw it as my cage, my escape from freedom. Here in Paris, I had my boundaries but at least I was free to roam. Upon that ship, I would be forced to live out my life as my mother lived out hers. Rubbing elbows with the elite class, having conversations about meaningless things with shallow people whose only concern was how much money they managed to rake in. Upon that ship, I would no longer be Haley James, daughter of the late Jimmy James. I would be Haley James, soon to be wife of that dashing young man Lucas Roe.

Ugh, I hated him as much as I hated that ship. I knew that I shouldn't. After all, he's been nothing but … decent to me. Buys me appropriate and beautiful items, takes care of me and my mother. The problem was that I didn't love him. And as much as he would protest, he didn't love me either.

I looked at him as he solicitously helped my mother off the carriage. He was always so helpful, so kind, I thought to myself, then why do I hate him so? Is it because I see him as my mother's scapegoat from her financial problems? Maybe, but that isn't a stain on his personality, it's a stain on my mother's.

She looked so happy at that moment, on the arm of her soon to be son-in-law. She smiled up at the ship and at the many people around, playing the part of a duchess to the hilt even if she wasn't one. I rolled my eyes at her fake delight to be surrounded by the commoners. She hated every second of it. As soon as we reached our luxurious accommodations, she would take a long hot bath to wash of the smell of poor people.

"What are you thinking about, love?" my fiancée asked me as he and my mother came up beside me.

"Oh, nothing. I just thought the ship would be bigger" I said, airily, waving my gloved hand in front of my face. With that, I walked up to the ship with my servants behind me, carrying my luggage.

"Your daughter is extremely hard to please" I heard Lucas mutter to my mother as they walked behind me.

I rolled my eyes again, thinking that the one sure way he could please me was by leaving me alone. I scanned the ship, looking for any good places to hide from my pesky fiancée. I had to admit that the ship was beautiful.

I was so naïve and arrogant back then. All I was thinking about as I stood upon that ship, looking for the First Class Suites was how much I hated my very existence. I never knew what I would find during those weeks I would stay in that ship.

They called it the ship of dreams. But it was named Titanic.


	2. Two Tickets To A New Life

**Hey, first of all, I wanted to say thanks so much for the reviews. Also, don't worry, I won't make the story exactly like the movie. I just took the outline of it. Maybe there are one or two scenes I will take from the movie but that's it. I also don't even know if the ship is going to sink or if someone will die. I haven't thought that far ahead. Anyway, enjoy!**

Nathan's POV

I grabbed the guy by his throat and slammed him against the wall.

"I'm going to ask you on more time, Keller, do you have the money or not?" I asked, out of patience.

"Technically" he started. I reached down to the floor and picked up my knife that had fallen earlier. He looked terrified as I pressed the blade against his neck.

"Okay, okay, look. I don't have the money" he said. Frustrated, I dug the blade deeper into his neck. A drop of blood came out through the small nick in his neck. I was prepared to see more blood rushing out.

"Wait, wait" he said, scared upon seeing his own blood. He looked close to tears now. "I have something else you would want".

I considered it for a moment then said "no thanks". More blood rushed put, staining his white shirt. I looked down and noticed that my shirt too was stained. That made me mad. I was just about to speed up the process when he spoke.

"Wait" he gasped out. "I have two tickets in my pocket…Titanic".

My whole demeanor instantly changed with that one word 'Titanic'. I immediately pulled back the knife but placed it near his throat just in case the loser tried to sprint.

"Tim" I called my yes-man. He was always agreeing to anything I said and was always doing whatever I told him to. I reckon if I told him to jump off a cliff, he wouldn't hesitate. "Check him".

Tim walked over to the guy and reached his hand into the guy's pocket. He pulled out two tickets and handed them over to me. I hesitated for a moment before letting go off him and grabbing the tickets.

I looked over at them and a smile came over my face.

"Well, Tim. It looks like we're going to America".

--------------------

I don't remember much about my childhood. I guess it was so filled with darkness that eventually I decided to sweep it under the rug and forget about it.

I remember my mother. She died when I was about eight. I'm not sure how. I just remember that one day, she left the small hut we called a house to buy some food from the market and by noon, she hadn't come back. And by the time the skies turned black and the moon came out, I knew she wasn't coming back. But I never gave up hope. I looked for her all over the streets of Paris and I couldn't find her.

On my way home, I stopped by the river to clean myself up. As I was washing my face, an object nearby caught my eye. It was floating gently in tune with the waves of the river and soon it came ashore a few feet away from me. I ran to that object. I don't know why. I guess, as weird as this sounds I felt like it was calling to me. When I reached the object, I immediately identified it. It was my mother. She looked exactly the same as she did when she left that morning.

I think I remember crying as I looked at her. I didn't want to leave her but after awhile I had to. The streets of Paris was no place for an eight year old boy. Just before I left, I took the necklace that she wore around her neck with me as a reminder of her. I told her that I loved her then I ran way.

Ever since that day, I've had to fend for myself. I never knew my father so I had no one to turn to. I had to steal food or starve, hurt people or be hurt. But that was all about to change for I was going to America.

----------------------

As the ship started to move and begin its journey, all the passengers immediately stood by the railing to wave to their loved ones. For most of them, it would be the last time they would see one another.

Nathan Scott stood at the opposite side of the ship, staring out to sea. There was no need for him to take one last look at Paris. There was nothing left for him there.


	3. Don't Let Them Take Me

I closed the curtains shut, blocking out any source of light from entering the room. As the room echoed with darkness, a grim yet pleasant feeling filled my heart. It was like the only peace and solitude I could find was when I was covered in darkness. Creeping towards the opened door, I tried to shut it but the stupid door wouldn't close for it seemed to be stuck to the floor, god knows by what. No matter, I would have to make do with the door being opened.

Walking towards the sofa, I grabbed a candlestick that was lying on the table. I slipped my hand into my pocket, pulling out a box of matches. I lit the candlestick, the flame illuminating the darkness for a moment. I shielded the light with my hand but the flame reflected my face clearly, my big empty eyes easily seen by anyone who chose to enter the room at that moment.

Luckily, no one came and I managed to block the flame from lighting up the darkness by shielding it with a book I was reading. Positioning myself comfortably on the sofa, I lifted up the book and the candle, hiding the candle behind the book so I could read in peace without anyone knowing I was in that room.

After ten minutes of reading in peace and quiet, the Gods decided that the pleasure I took from being alone had to be balanced out by the pain that was brought on by the person who entered the room next.

"Goodness me, Haley! Whatever are you doing?" my mother said, walking into the room. She immediately opened the curtains, the sunlight filling up the darkness I had loved so much. I shut my eyes at the immediate glare of the light, and then opened it to see my mother fussing about the room.

"It's called reading, Momma" I said, putting down the candle. I picked up the book again and hid my annoyed face behind it.

"It's a lovely day, child" my mother said, rearranging the contents on the mantelpiece for what seemed like the tenth time that day alone. "You shouldn't be cooped up in this stuffy room, your nose buried in that…thing".

"It's called a book, Momma" I said, not lifting up my head. Suddenly my eyes gleamed brightly as my eyes connected with my mother's. "Does that mean I can go for a walk outside?"

My mother's silvery laugh would have seemed like a slap to my face, its fake sweetness enough to turn sugar bitter but I was used to it.

"Heavens child! What has gotten into you today? I mean, what Mr. Roe would say if his soon to be wife started having heat rashes?" my mother said, wiping away imaginary dust from the small table near the window.

"His name is Lucas, mother" I said irritably.

"Yes, I know. But we must show our respect to others" she said, now fussing with her appearance in the antique mirror hanging on the wall directly opposite me. If she had looked past her reflection in the mirror and had seen me, she might have known how miserable I truly was. But she didn't. She just continued gazing at herself before turning to look at me. By then, I had controlled my emotions and retained a blank look upon my face.

"Aren't you going to start getting ready for the ball tonight?" she asked, looking at me but not really seeing me.

I nodded mutely and she exited the room as quickly as she came in. I stared at her retreating back, willing the tears not to fall. After a moment, I stood up and walked to my closet. I grabbed my coat and my sunhat, taking them with me as I walked to the front door of the room my mother and I were too occupy until we reached America.

As I placed a hand onto the doorknob, I suddenly had second thoughts. I looked at the sunhat in my hand. Then with a smirk, I let it fall to the ground and I walked out of the room and into the sun.

----------------------

Nathan's POV

The water swayed gently as the light waves crashed into each other. There were no sign of life in the water. But deep down, in the murky bottom of the ocean, thousands maybe even millions of different animals lived unperturbed by the large object that blocked out the sun for just a moment as it passed by. It would be easy to lose yourself in the movement of the water as it swayed rhythmically, so peaceful, so unaware.

I lifted up my head and looked up at the sky, breathing in the fresh air as a strong wind blew against my face. It was funny how peaceful my surroundings were but how I was unable to enjoy it completely.

I was alone, against the railing at the back of the ship. My companion, Tim Smith and I had barely spent anytime together for he seemed to enjoy it more roughing out with the other boys and playing cards. There was a time when I enjoyed doing stuff like that but ever since I stepped foot onto this ship, it was like I was waiting for something more to happen.

I had a sudden need to look away and I did. My eyes fell upon a lonely figure standing on the balcony on the first floor of the ship. Shocked for a moment, I was suddenly transported through time.

Flashback

_Seven years ago_

"They are going to start looking for me" she said, quietly, her voice clear and echoing through the darkness.

"Don't be scared. I'm here" he said, tightening his grip on her hand.

"I don't want to go, Nate" she said softly. "Don't let them take me".

"I won't" he said. "I promise, Hales".

End of Flashback


	4. In Deep Waters, I'll Cry

Haley's POV

I stared up at the dark grey skies, pretending for a moment that I could fly. Maybe then I could escape. A lone bird flew in the sky and I nearly laughed at the slim chance of seeing one this far out to sea. The air was cool but it didn't compare to the internal cold in my heart. I raised my arms and spread it out, trying to mimic the bird. My eyes automatically shut as a small raindrop landed on my nose. I didn't move, I just stood there as the skies rained on me.

I felt free. It was weird because I was stuck on this ship, miles away from freedom and standing in the rain, my eyes shut, I had never felt so free in my life. Just a moment of bliss, a moment of relief. Just once before I'm taken back to a place where love and happiness were just obstacles in the path to success and wealth. Just once.

"Take me to the skies" I whispered softly to the rain.

"Haley!" I heard a familiar voice call out from behind me. I groaned inwardly, dropping my arms to my sides. _I'm back _I thought miserably as I opened my eyes but didn't turn around.

I could sense him, walking towards me. Even with my eyes staring straight ahead, I could practically see him shaking his blond head as he clenched his fists at the sight of me behaving _inappropriately. '_Image is everything' I could hear my mother quoting to me just as she had done so many times in the past.

"You're going to catch a cold" he said as he threw his coat over my shoulders. He seemed to resent that move slightly as he realized that he was getting soaked in the rain. He wrapped his arm around shoulders protectively. Most people would think that was a sign of affection but I knew differently. He was just proving to himself and the world that he owned me, that I was his property.

I allowed myself to be pulled out of the rain silently as he rambled about the consequences if anyone saw his fiancée standing in the rain. He didn't say 'you' or 'Haley, he said _my _fiancée. Like that's who I am, like the only way to define me was as Lucas Roe's fiancée.

I took a last look at the skies before being ushered inside. It was a good thing that my face was already wet because then, nobody could tell that I was crying.

Nathan's POV

My eyes remained rooted on the spot he had been just moments ago. The sight of her took my breathe away just like it always did. The impact of seeing her after so many years was enough to make my heart continue to beat fast even though she was gone.

I closed my eyes, trying to picture her again in my mind. She looked so beautiful, her long blond hair tumbling over her shoulder in curls, wearing a long frock and white gloves that came up until her elbows. I grinned to myself. She always told me that she would never wear those long gloves. They made her look like an elf she used to say with a mischievous grin.

Suddenly, I remembered the guy I had seen her with. She didn't have a brother or cousins. He might have been her husband. My heart surprisingly sank at that thought. I don't even know why. I tried to brush away that feeling of depression that swept over me. It was hard to do so which was unusual for me because I was always good at hiding my emotions. Finally after realizing that I was fighting a losing battle, I walked away and headed for my cabin. The rain was pouring down hard and fast and I didn't even notice it. My mind was too preoccupied.

I ignored the shouts and cries from the guys' rough housing around as I walked down the hallway of the Third Class compartments. I walked into my cabin and shut the door behind me. I leaned against the door, breathing in and out slowly trying to calm my racing heart. I closed my eyes and tried to visualize the streets of America, a promise future for me. But I couldn't. My mind kept returning to the beautiful angel who lifted her arms and tried to fly in the rain.

_Don't let them take me, Nathan._

_I won't Hales._

The maids tsk tsked the whole time while they were preparing my bath. I was sitting on a vinyl stool wearing only a bathrobe while I waited patiently to take my bath. I remained mute and just stared blankly at them while watching them draw buckets of boiling hot water into the tub.

"You shouldn't have gone out in the rain, Miss James. And wearing your best frock" Bridget, one of the maids lectured as she tested the water to see if it was hot enough.

I resented the fact that I had to watch someone do something for me that I was perfectly capable of doing myself. But when I had insisted that I could draw my own bath, my mother who until then had remained in silent anger, had stared at with me steely eyes and said 'for once in your life, child, stop fussing!' in a hissing voice. The look in her eyes had cut the wound in my heart. The wound that had been there since the death of my beloved father, the person I had loved the most in the world

I had waited until my mother had walked out of the door with her back and the way she held herself oozing hostility at me. Me, her daughter, her so called pride and joy, her love, at least that's what she says. Something should tell her that lying is not elegant, maybe that would stop her.

"What ever were you thinking, Miss James when you let yourself outside?" another maid, Amelia said, shaking her head. "And without a sunhat" she let out a disappointed sigh.

"A lady of leisure like you should stay indoors" Bridget continued while she dumped another bucket of boiling hot water into the tub. She reached her hand into the tub again and smiled smugly this time. "The water is just right, ma'am" she said, proudly.

"Thank you, Bridget" I spoke for the first time since entering the room. I stood up and opened the door for them. "That will be all, ladies" I said, waving my hand towards the door. They looked annoyed as they walked out of the room. I think they would have liked to have stayed in the room so they could lecture me some more. I breathed a sigh of relief when the last one was out and slammed the door shut. As soon as the door whacked against the doorway, creating a loud sound, I cringed. I prayed that my mother didn't hear it, the last thing I needed was another lecture.

I waited for a few moments before I was positive my mother wasn't going to barge in and scream at me for behaving unladylike. I walked over to the bathtub and let my robe fall. I entered the tub and sank into the boiling water. I breathed a sigh of relief as my body began to relax. I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to rest. Me being around anyone is very taxing. I am always on guard, making sure I say the right things, smile the right smile and dress the right way. But now, all I have to do is sink into the depth of the hot water and shut my mind off. At least then I might actually feel at peace.


	5. The Heart Of The Ocean

Haley's POV

The dress was beautiful. It was a midnight blue strapless gown with a pinched waistline and a flared skirt. The hem of the gown swept the floor as I walked, and I had to pick up the skirt to assure myself that I would not fall flat on my face. I had a theory on the purpose of long length dresses that were hard to move in. It's so young women would not be able to run away from their fiancées.

It's not very funny, I know. But I'm taking all I can get in my humorless world.

I put on my long white gloves without taking my eyes off my reflection in the mirror. I raised my skirt to look at the beautiful diamond shoes my feet wore. The irony of wearing such beautiful expensive shoes was that no one would be able to see them in my long skirts yet wearing them was a necessity. Hence, one of the many problems of high society living.

My long blond wavy hair was lying loose over my shoulders. For one moment, I relished the feeling of freedom and pushed my hair in front, smiling at my reflection. Then I sighed, and grabbing a clip, I twisted my hair into a tight bun. There, I thought looking at my hair from an angle, that looks...proper.

The word proper seemed to be taken as a compliment in the world I lived in. 'Janet Stillwater was a lovely girl, very proper' or 'there's a good looking chap, comes from a right proper family, you can tell'. What happened to being unique or an original? It seemed to be non-existent for you could hardly tell the difference between two people. And pretty soon, all the faces would be a ray of colors, yet none of them would make an impact.

I sighed. It was a world I lived in, but did not take part in. It was a world I watched turn around me as I stood motionless, with no will to play a role.

"Wow" I heard someone whistle behind me. I ignored him and continued gazing at my reflection. A strand of hair was flying loose in my face so I tucked it behind my ear, my expression remaining stony.

"You look great" he remarked as he walked towards me, the epitome of good looks and 'proper' manners. He was a remarkable catch, with his soulful blue eyes, sandy blond hair, and a heritance that would make both women and men swoon. He also disgusts me. He always seems to be judging the people around him, especially me. His eyes were always on the move, shifting around looking for flaws, errors in the way people behave, the way they dress. It's like he wanted everything to be perfect. And I'm not perfect so I'm probably his ultimate challenge.

He reached me and was going to wrap his arm around my waist but I quickly sat down on my dressing chair. He looked surprised in the reflection of the mirror but I smiled warmly at him, my gaze remaining icy. He recovered quickly and walked out of view to his coat which lay draped over a chair, no wrinkles or smudges on it.

I ignored him and picked up my tube of lipstick, applying it on my lips. I was just about to admire the effect when he walked back behind me. He was holding something.

"For you, my love" he muttered as he placed the locket on my neck, clasping it from behind. He kissed my cheek then stood up straight behind the chair to admire the necklace around my throat.

I let out a little gasp at the sight of the pendant. It was beautiful, heart shaped with a huge sapphire stone placed in the middle of the locket. Deep colored diamond stones bordered the locket, and a thin necklace was used to clasp the locket on. My eyes remained rooted on it. It was like I couldn't look away, it was not just any other beautiful piece of jewelry. It was more than that, I felt a sense of familiarity like I had seen it before. Like it was a long lost friend I came to embrace. I touched the elaborate design on the pendant. The shade of the blue of the tiny sapphires was unique, I had never seen a color than blue before. Wait... Yes, I have. That particular shade of blue, where have I seen it before? I bit my lip, trying to remember. I closed my eyes, while fingering the pendant as a vision of the past flashed in my mind. A vision I had long since forgotten.

People running all around me, I was holding someone's hand while screaming for my mother, trying to be heard over the shrieks and cries of everyone else. It was chaos. I was being shoved and pushed my adults all around me as they tried to run. The hand I was holding was slipping, I turned around to try to hold on. A flash of blue, a glimmer of a smile. _No! _I remembered screaming. _No! Don't let me go! _He looked at me sadly but he too was being pulled back by the people around us.

I tried to keep my eyes on him but it was hard, too many people blocked my view. After awhile, I saw him again. He still held my hand. He slowly raised it to his lips and kissed it. Giving me one last smile he let go off my hand. _No! _I screamed as he stopped running. What was he doing? Doesn't he know what will happen? I turned back and attempted to run towards him, against the movement of the unruly crowd. _Miss Haley _I heard a voice shouting at me from behind. It was my butler. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back. He held tightly to my hand and ignored my cries and screams. My pleas to let me go back to the boy with beautiful blue eyes who stood in the shadows and watched me leave him. Where was he? My head swung around wildly as I tried to spot him.

He was twenty metres away and the crowd had passed him yet he still didn't move. The

people around me kept shoving and pushing me as they ran to the exit. My butler still

held my hand but I attempted to strain from him and run to the blue eyes boy. The boy

was watching me, his eyes never leaving mine. _I won't leave you! _I screamed in pain.

_I won't leave you!. _But his eyes told me that I already did.

I opened my eyes, they were moist with tears I had not cried in years. The vision was one

I had forgotten, it was years ago when it had happened. I wiped my eyes to hear Lucas

ask, concerned "Haley, are you okay?". I looked in the reflection of the mirror and saw

his eyes searching my face for an answer.

"I'm fine" I said, giving him a shaky smile. "It's just so beautiful" I said, looking at the pendant.

Nathan's POV

"Hey, Nate!" I heard a voice call out from behind. I turned around to see Tim walking towards me in the tiny hallway that led to the Third Class cabins. I ran a hand through my hand, wondering what he wanted. It wasn't that I disliked spending time with him. He was my buddy, my best friend, it's just that he represented a part of my life that I was trying to get rid off. I was ready to start anew life but knowing Tim, he wouldn't have that much imagination to think that far ahead. He would want to stick to the kind of life we were used to. The drinking, the girls, the threats we said to get what we wanted.

"A couple of the guys are thinking of" Tim looked around then lowered hi voice. "Pinching of the 'upper class' lads tonight" he paused when two little girls dressed in worn out dresses walked out of a cabin, giggling. We pressed against the wall to let them pass us. They looked at us curiously with their innocent faces then ran past us, laughing.

"There's a party tonight for them and a lot of empty cabins, with a lot of gold" Tim continued, waggling his eyebrows.

"You know what, Tim? I don't think I will" I said, carelessly. Tim's wide eager eyes lowered slightly. "I'm not up to it" I continued.

Tim's face dropped and his grin disappeared. "Oh. Okay then" he said, turning around and walking away, his shoulders dropping. I frowned at him. I didn't like hurting him, heck he has saved my life more times than I could count but I made a promise to leave that life behind. And I would.

Haley's POV

Nine course meal. Eight forks, seven knifes and two spoons. Three different kinds of wines. Five different kinds of meat, three different kinds of bread, and two different kinds of soup. But only one kind of person. Rich emotionless snobs. They sat around me as we dined pleasantly, careful not to talk to loud, dress to wild, or smile to wide. Let the men talk, only speak when spoken to, sit up straight, hands clasped in lap when not eating.

There was bright lighting so I could see everyone's bland faces. The orchestra was playing but the music was dull. The noise level of the 'party' was kept to a minimum. People were not recommended to stand up or move. Some party.

The smile on my face had long since evaporated but I could tell my mother was proud. I had kept my mouth shut. I was dying to stand up on the table and scream at everyone. 'Nobody cares how big your business is expanding, Mr. Cleveland' or 'maybe the reason your son hasn't found someone to marry is because he look like a thug!'.

But no. I will keep my mouth shut even until it kills me.

"Ugh, there's that dreaded Karen Lee" a woman on the right said in a stage whisper. I turned my head slightly to the right and noticed this pretty brunette walking to a table not far from us. She was maybe thirty five years old and she carried herself well. She was smiling spontaneously and not like she had been forced to. She was definitely not the average 'proper' lady of society.

"Would you look at that dress?" the woman on my far left muttered, shaking her head, tsk-tsking. I held back a grin as I stared at Miss Lee's dress. It was red, bright red and had just thin straps to hold it up. Red is the worst color a woman could wear. It was the complete opposite of white, the virginal color of women. The color red basically shouted out tramp. Her dark brown curls were let down and she walked with her head straight up; like she had more purpose in life than a women of her age was supposed to.

"She's from new money, that girl is" my mother shuddered as if someone who had been successful _recently _wasn't supposed to enjoy the luxuries the people with old money had.

"Her late husband struck oil a year ago and they became wealthy almost overnight. Of course he died not long after that. Very mysteriously too". My mother, she was so sweet and forgetful. Why, just this morning Lucas told us that Mr. Lee passed away from a cardiac arrest but my mother chose to leave that out.

"I heard she used to be a maid" the woman on my left said.

"I heard that too" another woman agreed. "Darling Susan told me that Karen Lee actually used to work at the Mc Swenson Mansion".

"I think I met her once too. Skinny, careless little girl. Spilled tea all over my lovely gown".

"I actually heard that she used to be homeless" the woman on my left piped up. Okay, that was over doing it.

Before I could stop myself, I said out loud. "So what if she was? That would be even more of a triumph for her seeing as she has come a long way from the ground, unlike some people".

As soon as the words left my mouth, the effect was instantaneously. The women turned their head towards me and their eyes widened disapprovingly. Even the men stopped talking business and stared at me. Lucas raised his eyebrows at me, in a curious slightly worried way. I could feel my mother's burning gaze on me but I refused to look at her. Instead I fixed my gaze on Karen Lee, as if I was trying to show the people around the table how much I admired her.

"Pray tell me, Mrs. Roe" Mr. Donovan said, breaking the silence.

"It's still Miss James" I blurted out without thinking. I heard the women around the table gasp. Lucas's eyes widened in hurt then narrowed, before he turned his eyes away from me. I could have slapped myself. It was one thing to think about this stuff in the privacy of my mind and to say it out loud in front of a group of women who spent their lives blathering was quite another.

"Miss James then" Mr. Donovan continued his conversation a tone cooler than before. "What do you actually mean by some people?"

They were all staring at me; it was like there was a spotlight on me. I stared at their annoyed faces and I knew that nothing I could say would make things worse so I took a deep breathe and said "I mean the type of people who inherited a fortune and think they did great things to have become so lucrative. I mean that's the difference between old money and new money isn't it? The people with the new money earned it whereas the ones with old money inherited it".

My mother looked like she was ready to burst into tears. I suddenly prayed the ground would open up and swallow me up. I had dug my own grave and now as I lay in the hole in the ground, with dirt walls ten feet tall all around me; they were going to shovel the sand on me like I knew they would.

Mr. Donovan shook his bald head in disgust. Then he turned to my mother and said, in a demeaning tone. "_Some people _should learn not to be as hypocritical as they too come from old money", he turned towards me and curled his upper lip in contempt. "And I think that those people should learn how to behave before being viewed in the public's eyes".

"Hear, hear" Lucas said, raising his glass. "Well said" he looked at me in disapproval. I was shocked. I knew I had hurt him but I am his fiancée! He was supposed to stick up for me. Not embarrass me in front of a dozen other people.

"You shouldn't feel so ashamed, Lydia" Miss Hollander said, placing a comforting hand over my mother's. "It's not all your fault. After all, Jimmy passed on when the child was young. It probably affected her state of mind" she said in a comforting tone but she was fooling no one. She was disgracing my mother in the most subtle way she could. My mother's lips quivered dangerously. _Please, don't cry mother _I prayed. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. No matter how much she annoyed me with her qualms about people from the lower class and her petty little ways, I still loved her. The silence of the table prolonged until it was finally broken.

"Anyway, Thomas. What were you saying about the market price of wool?" Mr. Donovan said, turning his attention from me. Everyone immediately looked away from me and continued their conversations. Several women leaned their heads together and had heated conversations about something. I was pretty sure they were gossiping about me. I could tell by the way their eyes were careful not to look at me and the way their heads were turned in a way that I couldn't see their lips moving. Plus, I heard them saying my name.

I sat down at the table, not knowing where to look, red staining my cheeks and embarrassment as well as hurt and anguish filling me up. I never knew I, who had prided myself on not expecting anything from others could feel so much hurt from people I loathed. I stared at my dinner plate, half the portion of food still left aside because I had been reprimanded time and time again to always leave food on my plate as not to feel guilty. My stomach growled in hunger but I pushed away that feeling just the same as I pushed the hurt and tears away.

I looked up after a moment and I saw a few sudden movements made by the women sitting near me. They had been staring at me, I realized, and they didn't want to be caught in the act. I ignored them and looked down the stretch of the table, trying to meet Lucas's eyes. He was engaged in a conversation with Mr. Archer, owner of two successful international companies that owned a wide stretch of hotels and planes.

I stared at Lucas unblinking, willing him to divert his eyes to me. I could feel the stares of the women around me but once again I ignored them. My eyes began to water from the sheer intensity of my stare and I blinked at the same time Lucas turned his eyes to me. He looked blank for a moment as I quickly opened my eyes. We stared at each other for a moment as if deciding which one of us should be mad at the other. I got my answer as his eyes narrowed in anger at me.

I sucked in my breath in hurt. When everyone else turned away from me, he would rather join them than comfort me. He shook his head in disgust at me before turning away. I was heartbroken. I tried meeting my mother's eyes too but she refused to look at me. I tried to retain a calm composure but I couldn't. I felt like I was sinking in the depths of the ocean and not even my family would lend a helping hand to me.

I stared at the people around me. The man with the world at his feet and millions of people who respected him, yet when night comes he wouldn't be in bed with his own wife. The little girl in the corner who had an empty stomach as she had not been able to eat her own food because she chewed loudly and her mother wanted a good image for her little princess. The woman in the next table who minded her own business and was pleasant to everyone she met but was scorned for letting her hair down.

And me, the girl who lost everything when she lost her father. She lost her hero, her savior, her freedom. She who was forced to live out a life she hated because her father left them a legacy of debts when he died. And was pleaded by her mother to marry someone she would never love to save them from ending up on the streets.

I felt the tears prickling behind my eyes and a lump forming on my throat. I needed to get out of here; the last thing my mother wanted was a weeping daughter. I stood up quietly (of course everyone heard but they choose to ignore me) and mumbled 'excuse me'. I walked quickly out of the room and entered the lobby. The porters and maids stared at me curiously as they watched me half walk, half run up the stairs to the main deck outside.

Once the cool air hit me, I breathed in the freedom. It was raining, I realized. I didn't mind. I walked to a tiny corner of the deck where no one could see me. I sat down not caring that my beautiful dress was getting wet and rumpled. I hugged my knees to my chest, leaned against the wall behind me and tucked my head in. It was only then did I start sobbing.

The pain of being alone in this world increasing and increasing until the anguish seemed too much for one person to take. I wanted it to flow out of me, as easily as the tears now flowed. I wanted to yell and stomp at the rain, crying to the skies 'why did you do this to me?' I wanted to see my father again, the only person I remember ever loving. I wanted to cry and cry in his arms asking him why he was gone. Why he left me. I wanted to scream and rage in his face, 'come back! Don't leave me. Please come back'.

But most of all I wanted to save that little girl in the corner. I wanted to save her from becoming me.

The rain continued to pour down on me. I was grateful for the sound and low visibility because then no one would be able to see or hear me cry. I didn't even hear them. They were talking in low voices and their feet on the polished floor deck barely made a sound. I don't think they even saw me until they were nearly on top of me. I'm pretty sure I didn't even notice them until they called out to me.

"Would you lookie here? It's one of the upper class girls" one of the men slurred as he saw me huddled on the ground. I quickly looked up, there were three big burly men standing next to me. I stood up and made to walk away when another one of them blocked my path.

"Where you going pretty lady?" he said, as he leered at me. He walked closer to me and I crinkled my nose in disgust. I could smell alcohol on his breath and I was pretty sure that the other two men were as wasted as he was. They were stumbling on their feet as they stood surrounding me. If only I could run at them, maybe they'd be thrown off guard.

Too late, they were all walking closer to me, cornering me against the wall. I opened my mouth to scream but the one nearest to me clamped his hand over my mouth. For the first time, I was truly afraid. We were in a dark secluded area, plus it was raining so visibility was limited so we were unlikely to be discovered.

My heart was hammering against my rib cage and my eyes widened at them in fear. My hands were free so I swung them wildly hoping to hit one of them. My fist connected with something and I felt a wave of hope. Then I felt someone's fist enclosing mine. I cursed in my mind, I had hit my attacker's fist which was probably the worst place for me to hit. I tried to pull my hand away from his grip but he was too strong. The other man released his hand from my mouth and wrapped his arm around my neck, an inch from choking me.

He motioned at his pals to let go off me. He then pulled out a knife from his pocket and held the steely blade in front of me. My heart suddenly stopped and I let out a tiny gasp. He wasn't really going to hurt me, was he? Suddenly I wished more than anything that I was still sitting inside with those haughty people. _If only I hadn't left _I thought my breathe coming out in quick drawn gasps. _If only I hadn't open my mouth, If only I hadn't come on this ship._

"Blimey, Drake. Are you seeing what I see?" one of them said, staring at my neck. I cursed to myself, the necklace! Why on Earth did I wear it?! Lucas is going to kill me. If these thug don't do it first.

The one holding me brought the knife closer to me. I tried to edge backwards but his body prevented me from moving. I closed my eyes shut, muttering quick prayers under my breath. I braced myself for the feel of the knife against my neck. But instead I felt the knife going under the silver chain of the pendant and lifting it from my neck.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw my pendant being scrutinized by all three of them. For one second, I think they forgot about me. Their eyes widened in glee and delight as they examined the pendant. I heard them mutter something as they continued to finger the locket. Then, in flash off a moment, there was a sudden movement and I screamed. The guy holding the knife had suddenly slashed across the air, very near my neck and the necklace broke. He caught the locket in his hand and grinned as he kissed like it was a lost lover he had come to embrace.

I gasped slightly as he slipped it in his pocket. My beautiful locket in the palm of a man who looked like he had run straight into a wall and been burned alive. His head suddenly snapped up and he looked at me, like he had forgotten about me. Then he grinned and walked closer to me, the knife very visible as he held it in his hand pointing at my chest.

"Don't worry honey. We haven't forgotten about you" he said, leering at me. His friends looked at me like they couldn't wait to devour me. "Do you want to party?" he asked, bringing his face close to mine. His lips graced my neck and I nearly threw up. I was trembling but I tried my level best to steady myself. I remained mum which seemed to aggravate him.

"Listen, honey. There are two ways to party where I come from. You can do it with a smile on your face or screaming your heart out" he brought his mouth to my ear and whispered "which one, sugar?"

Oh, dear God they were planning to rape me. I pursed my lips to stop myself from crying. I choose not to say anything because either way I knew the outcome. I stared at the three men in the dark. They were going to get what they wanted, and to my utter horror the last thing I did before I would die was embarrass my mother in front of a group of people she wanted to impress more than anything.

When I didn't answer, the guy with a look at his friends brought his lips to my cheek and kissed it. Then he lifted the knife up and plunged it down.

I screamed.


	6. Stranger

It's weird how fast sound travels through steel and glass and can be carried by the wind more than 500 feet away when subconsciously, you realize that your ears have been straining to hear that voice. It's like you've been waiting for an eternity to hear that voice again, even if it's just for a moment. The soft childish voice has altered through the years; in fact it didn't even sound like her. But somehow, I knew that that was her voice echoing through the rainy night.

I had been standing at the edge of the railing, looking down at the dark water illuminated only by the lights of the ship and the starry skies. The water had started forming ripples when the rain came. My eyes followed the movements of the ripples as they expanded through the dark seas, my mind lost to the ocean. I had been deep in thought when I heard her scream. It was a weird coincidence for the last time I saw her, she had been screaming too. The little girl with empty beautiful eyes screaming as if her life had depended on it as she looked at me, her eyes for the first time displaying her feelings.

I wasn't even aware of myself running until I was fifty feet away from the source of the voice. My feet pounded the wooden floorboards of the ship as I ran along the deck, the rain falling on me attempting to slow me down but failing. The ship deck was vacant as the rain was pouring heavily. I didn't falter nor hesitate as I sped towards the direction of the voice. My mind was blank and all I could think about was _Haley. _

The blade struck the hem of my skirt, ripping the fabric straight through and creating a huge gap in my dress. The guy leered at me and continued ripping the bottom of my dress, the cheers of his friends echoing in the background. My heart continued hammering in my chest as I struggled against him. I screamed once more, hoping my voice would be carried despite the sound of the thundering rain. The guy finally clamped his hand over my mouth and stared at me angrily. He nodded at his friends who came closer to us. He let go off his grip on me and they shoved me to ground; my back hit hard against the floor deck and I let out a gasp of pain only to find my mouth covered once more.

One of them leaned on the floor next to me and I could tell by the look in his eyes that I wouldn't live to see tomorrow. I would have prayed right there and then if I hadn't lost all faith in God. Tears were rolling down my eyes as the guy hiked up my dress. I closed my eyes in fear as I felt the guy's hand on my calf. I wanted to be brave but I couldn't bear to see the pain I was about to endure. I screamed in my head, my shrieks echoing through the dark caverns of my mind. I cringed against the floor, awaiting the man's next move. The floor felt wet and dirty as I lay on it but the man's hand on my flesh felt worse.

I shut my mind out and tried to picture myself somewhere else. My ears fell silent as I clamped my hands over them, crying silently to myself. The guy's hand was still on my calf when suddenly it was yanked away. I continued shutting my mind out and keeping my eyes closed but they sprang open when I felt something heavy hit the floor next to me.

My eyes fell upon the two men who tried to rape me fist fighting with another leaner taller man. The man who had put his hand on my leg was on the floor, a huge gash on his head, blood dripping from it. I sat up straight and moved away from his unconscious body. Conscious or not, I wanted to keep my distance away from him.

I returned my gaze to the fight still going on. One man swung his fist at the lean guy only to hit air as the lean guy quickly ducked out of the way. The lean guy kicked the guy's stomach making him double in pain, then he elbowed him in the neck, causing him to fall to his knees, passing out when his head connected with the floor. The lean guy looked at me and our eyes connected.

In that moment, something changed. I'm not sure if it was me or him or something completely unrelated but in that split second, I could feel a change in the air. Like this moment, this place, this ship would be the beginning of the rest of my life. My heart no longer hammered in my rib cage; instead it stopped. I sucked in my breath, unable to tear my eyes away from his. I couldn't see his face clearly but it didn't matter. In a way, I could see more of him in the darkness then I could have seen anyone else in the light. I saw the way his chest heaved as he breathed heavily, the way his eyes flashed with something unclear as he continued staring into my eyes, the way he almost seemed to be smiling at me, despite our situation. What I didn't see until the last moment was the third guy walking behind him, the forgotten knife in his grip.

"Look out!" I screamed as the third guy raised his hand and plunged the knife into his back. The lean guy reacted but much too slowly. The knife scraped the skin off his arm with the edge of its blade. Without missing a beat and biting down on the pain, he ducked down to avoid the next blow and swung his leg over, whacking it against the other guy's legs. The guy tripped and fell flat on the floor. I expected him to rise again; after all it wasn't a heavy fall and he was a big man. But after a while, it was clear he wasn't going to rise again.

"Oh God" I muttered, raising my hand to my mouth and fighting the urge to throw up.

The knife he had been holding had somehow turned the other way as he had fallen. The tip of its blade was poking out of his back, dripping with blood. The sheer impact of the fall had driven the knife straight and through him and in a sudden moment, he stopped moving.

I opened my mouth to scream but for the second time that night, someone clamped their hand over my mouth. This time, I didn't struggle. I was tired and soaked to my skin so I fell back against the blue eyed stranger who had saved my life. I closed my eyes and tried to wipe the image of the blood staining the wooden floorboards. There was so much blood, the rain dropped upon the deck of the ship only to turn into a red flood of water. I covered my eyes with my hands and collapsed against the stranger behind me.

The rain was falling down on us so loudly that I didn't hear him talk for the first few seconds. It wasn't until he released his hand from my mouth and shook me gently did I open my eyes and took note of what he was saying.

"We have to get out of here" he said softly, his voice barely audible although he was right behind me. I craned my head around to face him and saw him staring down at the figure on the floor. His eyes caught my glance and he turned to look at me.

"Why?" I said, in a hoarse voice.

He slowly helped me stand upright on my own and I found out, much to my horror how much I had leaned onto him. He walked slowly to the man lying on the floor nearest to us and crouched down next to him. He turned him over gently and I let out a gasp. His face was covered with blood, his nose broken from the sheer impact of his fall. The stranger felt for his pulse and after a moment, he stood up again.

"He's alive… but barely" he said, as he met my questioning glance. He looked over at the other bodies on the ground and then to me again. "They're going to think we started this fight".

"Then we'd tell them the truth" I said, indignantly.

He nearly smiled. "They won't believe us".

"Why not?"

"Look at us. You're a woman and I'm Third Class on the ship, dirt on the ground" he shrugged. "Who would take our story over theirs?" he kept silent for a moment before continuing "it was self-defense but it might not look like it. It looks more like attempted murder. People get imprisoned for life for that".

I realized at that moment as his eyes burned into mine that he didn't care about going to jail. I don't know why I thought that but somehow I could tell that it didn't matter to him what happened in his future. I blinked and avoided his gaze, my mind unable to comprehend the reasoning behind my thoughts properly. But as I lifted my head and saw him still staring at me, I understood just then, that he was doing this to protect me.

"Look, we can't just run" I said, incredulous. "It's…" I stopped talking as I heard voices calling out loudly to us. People were coming to investigate the screams and loud noises that had echoed through the night.

The stranger turned his head and faced the direction in which the voices were coming from. Then he turned to face me.

"We don't have time" he said softly, his blue eyes locking on my brown ones. He held out his hand to me. "Do you trust me?".

My heart stopped. I felt like my mind was being torn away from my body and my surroundings had nothing to do with what I was feeling just then. I stared at his extended hand, my breath coming out in ragged gasps as I tried to breathe normally. I could hear the voices coming closer and closer. In moments we would be found. The rain was pouring harder around us now and visibility was limited yet I could still make out his blue eyes staring down at me.

Somehow, in that moment, I knew that I was making a decision that would change the rest of my life. I stared once again at his hand and then into his eyes, he was the reckless decision, the one I had been advise to avoid my whole life. I stared into the darkness, at the place where the voices seemed to be coming from. Looking down at the ground, I realized to stay here would be the safe decision, the one that my mother and Lucas would have told me to take, had they been there.

I slipped my hand into his and looked up at him.

"Yes".


	7. Blue Eyes

Our feet pounded the ground and the rain fell around us as we ran away from the voices and lights into further darkness. I slipped a couple of times on the slippery ground but each time, a strong arm grabbed me and held me steady. Each time that happened, the chill that had sunk into my body disappeared for a while and each time he released my arm, it came back.

I sneaked a glance at him. He was looking right and left, keeping watch. As he looked at my direction, I noticed for the hundredth time that night, his bright blue eyes. They had such depth, I felt like I was sinking through the ocean. His eyes reminded me of the ocean. The bright blue color of the sea….

I stopped short and slapped my hand against my forehead. "The necklace!".

He stopped running too. He looked at me curiously. "What's wrong?".

I lifted my hand to my throat to confirm that the necklace was gone. "My necklace" I managed in short bursts of breath. The running had taken a lot out of me. "The guy…. stole it…. in his pocket".

He ran his hand through his rain-drenched hair. He stared down at me as I put my hands on my knees and gasped for air. I prayed he wasn't thinking I was a liability already. Don't ask me why his opinion of me mattered so much when I didn't care what my mother thought of me. I wouldn't be able to answer that question. Just like I wouldn't be able to answer why I had followed him instead of staying put.

He sighed. "How much does this necklace mean to you?" he asked, wiping the water off his face as he tried to look at me through the rain.

I didn't want to tell him the truth. I didn't want to tell him that that piece of jewelry mattered more to me than anything I had ever owned with the exception of a torn little picture I keep in the bottom of my suitcase. I didn't need him risking his life for me again. In fact, I didn't need him. I should just walk off right now, away from this stranger. No, wait, I would need to say thank you first.

But my necklace, I needed it. I couldn't leave without it

He must have read my expression because he grinned at me. "I got my answer," he said before he walked towards the direction we came from.

I wanted to yell at him, try to make him come back. But if I did, he would be caught. The people who would find the other guy's body would think he did it. If he did get caught, it would be on my conscience. The other reason was because the darkness scared me. I guess it showed how much I had changed in the short span of an hour. Before, the darkness had thrilled me because it held a mystery my life was devoid of. Now it just held drunken guys holding knives and screams that echoed through the night.

I don't know why I waited in the cold darkness standing out in the rain for the stranger to return. Maybe it was because of the necklace. Maybe it was because of his eyes. Or maybe because when he grabbed me with his arm, I didn't want him to let go.

I must have waited ten minutes for him to come back. The whole time, I was biting my nails nervously, awaiting his now familiar figure to appear against the darkness. The rain had stopped as suddenly as it had started. All that was left behind was large puddles of water on the ground, soaking the wood as it tried to evaporate away.

When I saw him walking towards me, I realized that if he hadn't come back I would have broke down. It was stupid; I didn't even know his name. I just called him 'stranger' in my head. Blue eyed stranger with strong….

"Is this it?" he asked, walking up to me, holding out a familiar pendant. I let out a sigh of relief and took it from him, admiring it as if this was the first time I was looking at it. Regardless of the absence of light and the laws of physics, it still sparkled and gleamed like it had hours before.

"Thank you" I said, looking up at him. I smiled nervously. "How did you not get caught?"

He shrugged. "I have my ways" he grabbed my arm. "We have to go".

We walked this time, quickly with him leading the way and me trailing beside him. I had no clue where he was taking me but my mind was too confused with his close proximity to care. Besides he had saved my life by fighting with those guys. What was the quote they used? The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

"Who are you?" I blurted out after minutes of silence. I cursed myself as soon as those words escaped my mouth. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for" I laughed nervously. "I mean after you saved my life, I should be thanking you. So" I paused. "Thank you". He turned to face me as we walked on and I blushed at his stare. "But I would not mind if you do express a desire to at least tell me your name" I blabbed on, trying to quench my nervousness.

His eyes filled with amusement but he still kept quiet. My nerves gave way to anger.

"I appreciate you saving my life but I would like it if …" I said angrily before I stopped short. I just noticed a trail of blood leaking the floor.

"You're bleeding," I stated obviously.

He ignored me and kept on walking, leaving me behind. Still angry, I stomped quickly to catch up with him.

"Hey! Hey!" I said loudly as I caught up with him. "You're hurt".

"It's a small cut," he said, curtly.

"No, it's not. Look, let me at least bandage it for you. It's the least I could do," I said.

"I would rather get you back to where you belong safely" he said as we reached the end d of the ship. The railing that had followed us along the ship as we ran now curved to form the end of the ship. Beyond the railing stretched on the dark blue sea. The moonlight shined on the sea and as the waves moved in a rhythmic pattern, the reflection of the moon danced along the water.

"Where is that?" I muttered softly to myself.

He must have heard me because he said something in a voice that was as soft as mine had been. I looked at him curiously but he didn't venture an explanation. He walked to the railing and let his hands rest on it as he looked out into the sea. I followed him and stood beside him. We were silent for a few moments before he spoke up.

"One of the shareholders that own this ship has a fetish for plants and insisted on it being used as one of the themes of the ship's exterior design. If you hadn't already noticed, there are ivy plants along the side of the wall leading up to your balcony. The ivy plants are held up with sticks of wood and it shouldn't be difficult for you to climb it up to get into your room without being noticed" he said flatly.

"That's okay, I think I'll just go into my room like normal," I said, wanting to see his reaction.

He smirked. "Suit yourself".

"What makes you think I won't?" I said, annoyed.

"Because you don't want anyone to see you" he nodded at my dress that was torn at the bottom. "You don't want people to talk about you and for them to start rumors".

"How do you know what I want?" I asked, infuriated. "And come to think of it, how do you know which is my balcony?"

He turned to face me slowly. I met his eyes, trying not to quaver under his gaze. His gaze was so intense my heart started pounding uncontrollably. I tried not to blink, I didn't want to look away from those eyes…which reminded me so much of…

He looked away. I let out a sigh of dismay mixed with annoyance. How dare he turn away from me?

"I'm going," I said, indignantly.

"Up the ivy?" he asked, amused.

I would have glared at him if he was looking at me but he wasn't. Instead I turned away and stalked to the other direction trying to make as much noise as possible. When I reached below my balcony, I turned around to see if he had followed me. He had not but he had turned away from the railing and was leaning against it while looking at me.

I tried not to seem nervous by the fact that he was watching me. I took a deep breath and reached for the wood holding the ivy up. The wood was strong and steadily attached to the wall. I pulled myself up and waited to see if the wood would snap. It didn't and my confidence got a boost. I reached for another handhold and pretty soon I was climbing it like a pro. I had climbed maybe three quarter high up when I slipped. I struggled to grab on to the wood but I was too slow.

I was falling…falling through air and space…. through the night. Falling with my back first as I had pushed myself away from the wall to make sure I didn't hit the wood or scraped myself on the wall. It seemed like I was moving in slow motion, the stars were in my direct line of vision and it was all I could see as I plummeted down. I raised my arms, and reached for something to grab onto. In my desperation, I think I wanted to grab onto a star.

Just before I hit the floor, strong arms enveloped me and took in the force of my momentum. My head snapped back and I experienced whiplash. But the majority of the injuries I would have suffered were minimized. I opened my eyes and turned to face my savior for the third time that night but when my eyes met his, I couldn't speak.

"Are you okay?" he said softly, still carrying me. His face was inches away from mine and I nearly fell out of his arms as I lost control of myself. I wrapped my arms around his neck impulsively. I couldn't breathe and my throat was constricted; I nodded at him to answer his question.

"I'm sorry I acted like I knew you," he said seriously. Maybe it was wistful thinking on my part but he seemed as nervous as I was.

"It's okay," I said softly not able to tear my eyes away from him. I looked into his eyes; our faces were so close I couldn't have looked elsewhere even if I wanted to. In that moment, I felt closer to him than I had ever felt to anyone in my life. It was like he looked into my eyes and saw me and the amazing thing was…I think in his eyes I was beautiful.

"I'm going to let you down now", he said slowly.

"Uh-huh" I managed to say but he didn't lessen his hold on me nor did he put me down. His head bent towards me and for one glorious moment, I thought he was going to kiss me but at the last second, he withdrew his head. I looked at him puzzled as he loosened his grip, let me down and steadied me on my feet. Then reality struck me.

"Thank you" I said, stiffly. I turned away from him, reeling from the shock of being swept off my feet so soon after falling. I didn't want him to see my embarrassment of being rejected. I was so close to being what my mother called 'devil's advocate in the business of marriage' and what society called 'loose woman'. Despite the fact that I despised everything society and my mother deemed appropriate and despite the fact that I hated my fiancée, I still believed in the sanctity of marriage. And I was nearly lost my belief to that because of this man with bright blue eyes…regardless of the fact that he was good looking…devastatingly so…

I turned towards the wall once more, prepared to try to climb it again. He moved closer to me. "Do you want a hand?" he asked politely.

"Yes, thank you so kindly" I replied with courtesy.

I climbed the wall once more, but this time he climbed with me and he held my hand to ensure I didn't fall. I was terrified of falling even more this time, because even if he was guiding me, his hand on mine rendered me incapable of thought. Once I had climbed over the balcony railing and saw safely on the veranda, did I manage to breathe. I turned around to face him once more. He was on the other side of the balcony, his head a bit lower than the railing. I looked down at him.

"Thank you" I paused. "For everything".

"Be careful though, next time I might not be around" he said, an amused glint in his eyes.

_Don't say that_ I thought feverishly. The thought of not seeing him surprisingly depressed me. Two hours ago, I didn't even know him but sometime ago maybe when he had caught me as I had fallen, maybe when he had saved me from those guys or maybe when his eyes had locked onto mine, he had become a part of my life.

"I'm Haley James", I ventured, hoping to get his name. His eyes lit with something unexplained and his eyebrows raised slightly.

"Nathan Scott" he said quietly. My stranger had a name.

I didn't want him to leave but he nodded at me before climbing down the wall. Regretfully, I turned away and walked to the big doors leading to my room. I paused, my hand on the gold plated handles before turning again.

"Wait! Wait" I said, running over to the railing, looking down in the darkness for him. My heart sank as I realized that I couldn't see him. My eyes scanned the area and I spotted him nearly directly beneath the balcony some thirty feet below me. Even at that distance the sight of him took my breath away.

"Will I see you again?" I asked boldly, hoping my courage wasn't a liability in this instance.

He looked up at me, his hands in his pockets, the moonlight flickering its lights on his devastatingly handsome face. "I'm not going anywhere".

I smiled, satisfied with that answer and turned away from the railing. I overcame the urge to keep looking down at him because I knew if I did, I would never turn away. I walked over to the doors and opened them. I ignored the room's beautiful authentic design and closed my eyes as soon as I locked the doors behind me. I leaned against the door for a moment, my eyes shut, breathing slowly.

"Nathan Scott" I said softly to myself as I wondered how I could feel so strongly about someone I just met.


	8. Who Do You See When You Look At Me?

"Have you enjoyed yourself tonight, Haley?" a cool voice rang out behind me as I tried to quietly make my way to my washroom. My relief at being undiscovered at this late hour soon turned to despair when I heard that familiar voice echo through the room. I paused for a moment and arranged a fraudulent smile on my mouth before turning around.

"Why, Lucas!" I exclaimed as if I was overjoyed to see him. He was lounging on one of the overstuffed couches in the room and by his lazy stance; I knew he had been there awhile. "This is a surprise. But I must say that a man's presence in a young woman's stateroom is not very much advised among our society, especially at this late hour". As I spoke, I walked slowly to my left where I could hide my torn dress behind the couch. But there was nothing I could do to hide my rain drenched hair so I tried to look as inconspicuous as I could.

When Lucas didn't answer, I continued "I trust the evening was a success. I have to say I enjoyed the food tremendously and…"

"Stop this nonsense Haley!" he interrupted as he sprang up from the couch, his voice as loud as it had been angry. "Now you will answer me honestly when I ask you this…Where were you? I've been waiting for you for the past hour and half".

_Oh, this wasn't good. I was safe to say that this was actually very bad._

I don't know why I didn't want to tell him straight out what had happened. Maybe it was because I hated the idea of having to answer to him. He wasn't my father! Why should I have to do everything he says? Or maybe it was because if I told him what had happened, I would have to mention…Nathan. And I would rather keep him in the privacy of my fantasies than tell my fiancée about him. A few hours ago, the former would have been the only answer I would have given but at that moment…the latter seemed more likely.

"I…took a walk" I lied as I watched him slowly walk up to me. I just realized that he was holding a glass in his hand. It was empty and I wondered if he was drunk. He moved predator-like as he bounced on the balls of his feet and walked stealthily toward me, he actually moved, I just noticed, like a cat. Well, it certainly was appropriate since I loathed cats.

"Your behavior today was appalling and truth be told, Haley, it is my duty as a devoted fiancée to _fix _things I deem unsuitable. Especially for one who holds such a dear place in my heart" he said, almost sarcastically. "What do you have to say about that?"

I backed away a few paces. He was scaring me, the way he was walking towards me. His eyes were filled with anger; cold blues would seem a fitting name for them.

"I don't need to answer…" I said, indignantly before he interrupted me again.

"Don't need to answer?!" he yelled, throwing the glass on the wall. I gasped as the glass made contact with the wall and the familiar sound of breaking glass filled my ears. Shards of glass flew everywhere and I jumped back to avoid getting cut. "You are my fiancée! I _own _you. You need me and if you want to live out your life by my side, I suggest you…" he stopped short when he caught sight of my torn dress. I bit back a curse as his gaze lingered on the hem of my dress. He looked up at my face and noticed a slight scar by my jaw that was formed when I fell on the floor earlier that night.

"Haley, what happened?" he asked, no longer angry.

"Nothing" I said, stubbornly. His anger enraged me. He had no right to be mad at me. I am my own person and if I do or say things that disgrace me, the blame and repercussions lie on my shoulders and mine alone. We are two different people and he doesn't own me anymore than he owned the ship we were on. _Don't cry, he doesn't deserve my tears. _

"Haley, what happened?" he asked more concerned. He was right in front of me now. I knew that he would not leave it unless I told him a reason.

"I…was climbing up the ivy to get to my room and…I fell" I lied, not looking at him.

His reaction to that was completely unexpected. If I envisioned his reaction a million times over with different scenarios, I would never have even thought of this one.

"Oh, Haley" he said softly as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in. I was so shocked; I just stood there for a moment not saying anything. He smoothened my hair as he continued "Don't you scare me like that. I sat here, scared to death that something had happened to you" he pulled away and looked down at my face. He lifted a finger and tipped my face up to meet his. "And if something had…I don't know what I would have done. I never want to lose you, Haley".

I nodded, still surprised at this show of emotion. His change in emotion, especially so quickly took me off guard. I wondered for a spilt second if he was drunk but I brushed away that thought. Lucas Roe drunk was as rare as a sober sailor or a loving Lydia James. But then again, he did have a short temper but only in the absence of…well of everyone except me. In fact I was the only one that seemed to get him mad. It was enough to give me an inferior complex if I actually cared about what he thought of me. His short bursts of anger never last long and when he comes to his senses, he pretends that nothing happened which is such a contradiction for me since I've been holding a grudge against my mother since I was born.

The sound of an extra set of footsteps approaching made him shove me quickly away from him. He dropped his arms from around my waist and shoved his hands in his pocket as he turned to face my mother who had just walked into the room. I stumbled from his shove and tried to regain balance; one always needed to be on their guard when Lydia James entered the room.

"Oh, Lucas dear. There you are" my mother said, still dressed in the same clothes she wore for the dinner that night. Her hair remained as stiff and proper as it had at the start of the evening; she must be so proud. "Pauline and Greg are expecting us downstairs. We told them we would only be up for a touch-up and we have already taken up far too much of their time" she continued as if I wasn't standing right there.

_He lied. He said he was waiting for me for hours. He had been at the dinner while I nearly got raped. And then he lied to me about his whereabouts. He doesn't care about me at all. He's not the 'proper' man I thought he was; he's become like…my mother._

Lucas cleared his throat uncomfortably and said, without looking at me "Of course Mrs. James, I was just got a second wind and was having a nightcap" he said, as he walked towards a side table and gestured at the whisky bottle on it.

"Do hurry, Lucas. You know how rude it is to keep people waiting" she said as she picked up her skirts and made her way to the door.

Lucas turned to face me with an apologetic look but I could see in his eyes that he didn't mean it. He was as much caught up in the world of high living with the expensive champagne and pretty clothes as my mother was.

I kept my face blank as he waited for a reaction. Giving up, he turned away and followed my mother. I lowered my head and clasped my hands in front of me subconsciously.

"Oh and Haley" my mother's voice rang out. I looked up in anticipation.

_Please God. Please let my mother notice me. Let her ask if I was alright. Please let her just look at me for once like a mother would look at a daughter. God, please…let my mother…care. _

My mother's eyes scanned the room coolly as my heart was beating fast and my mind was praying for a miracle. To just see concern in my mother's eyes. To just see any emotion really; any emotion in those beautiful still eyes that had watched me grow but had never really seen me.

Her eyes landed on the floor a few inches away from me. "Clean that up, would you?" she asked referring to the broken pieces of glass on the ground. My heart would have sunk but honestly, I hadn't expected anything more of her. If I was miserable every time she let me down, then the word 'smile' would have disappeared from my vocabulary at the ripe age of three. I wasn't surprised at her nor was I disappointed; I had become emotionally detached from her. It was my saving grace.

Upon watching her retreating back, I looked down at me and realized that to my horror, I was standing with my hands clasped ladylike in front of me; it was the exact same poise my mother had taught me to stand all my life and I had refused to every time. I quickly unclasped my hand and stood as aggressive as I could, while wearing a torn dress. Oh God, I hoped I wasn't going to become a lady by force of habit.

I was about to walk to the bathroom to have a shower when my eyes fell on a family portrait hanging in the opposite wall. It was of my mother, I and…my father. My darling father. We were happy then, I thought to myself. My mother wasn't as daunting as she is now, her smile was genuine, I noted from the lifelike portrait of us. And I think that she loved my father; he must have made her happy because she's been cruel ever since he died.

I didn't even realize that I had been crying until I felt the tears slide down my cheek. Miserable, I sank to my knees and through blurred eyes; I felt the floor for pieces of broken glass. I picked up the bigger pieces and almost immediately, I felt a sting in my left palm. Blood was dropping on the floor from my small cut and the weirdest thing was as I sat on the floor crying while staring at my bloody cut, I was confused about what to do. I was a grown woman now, about to get married and enter the world with a husband by my side but I think at that moment, I was more a child than ever before.

And for the first time in years, I needed my mother.

I had always assumed that I was fitter than the average Joe. I mean I had spent like the first nine years of my life running around and hiding from my mother. I had always thought that if I had given the chance to maybe participate in sports or activities as such, I would be among the best. But if course, eight years of wearing only gowns and walking in heels that prevent the wearer from moving beyond first speed have made me almost incapable of even _walking _like the average Joe.

Which was exactly what I found out as I roamed around the ship in a dull grey dress with a big sunhat to hide my face. I was trying to look as inconspicuous as possible; if anyone saw me walking around the _commoners, _not being loved by my mother would be the least off my worries.

As I passed a group of men lounging against the railing, I stared at each one of their faces to see if any of them was Nathan. One of them saw me looking and he winked at me. I quickly turned away and walked as fast as I could away from the group. As soon as I thought enough distance had passed, I turned to see if the guy had followed me. I was still walking fast and didn't see where I was going and to my utter embarrassment, I whacked straight into a solid figure.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed as I fell flat on the ground. Even in flats, my ability to fall was more than a newborn child trying to walk. I felt a shadow over myself and realized that the figure I had walked into was still standing. He kneeled down next to me and as I looked at his deep blue eyes, I realized who it was.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, his eyes scanning my face for signs of hurt before meeting mine again.

"Uh-huh" was all I managed to say. My heart was pounding so hard, I couldn't breathe. I wondered why this had never ever happened when I was with Lucas.

Before I could ponder on this question, he stood up. Ashamed, I looked away and gathered my skirts to stand up by myself. But when I turned to him again, he had already stuck out his hand to help me up. I hesitated for a moment. This guy had already put a spell on me with just one look; what would happen if I held his hand? One thing for sure…I would never want to let go.

I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up; he must have pulled me a little harder than he intended to because when I stood up straight, we were inches apart. His hand was still holding mine and at that moment, I didn't care who watched. I was filled with anticipation. He looked down at me intently and my knees trembled. He reached out his hand and slowly pushed back a strand of hair that had escaped my bun. I shivered and closed my eyes at his touch.

But a split second later, reality struck. I opened my eyes and let go off his hand as I pushed myself away from him. It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do up until then. He looked unaffected by this change of events and just ran his hand through his dark hair.

"What are you doing on this side of the ship?" he asked breaking the silence.

"I… I was actually looking for you" I stuttered slightly, trying to gather my courage. I smiled nervously. "You're not a very easy person to find".

He lifted an eyebrow. "That's because I never wanted to be found" he said. "At least" he paused. "Until recently" he said sheepishly as he stuffed his hands in his pocket and looked down at his feet.

I found myself blushing. He was so adorable.

I started walking and he followed my step. For a while, we couldn't talk because too many people were walking around. I swerved to avoid hitting this big burly man and nearly bumped into an old woman. I would have whacked right into her if Nathan hadn't grabbed my arm and pull me out of the way. The old lady started cursing at me with words even sailors don't use. People started staring at us and mothers gasped as they pulled their hands over their children's ears. Nathan looked amused as he pulled me away from the crowd. I thought for a second that she was going to follow us as she continued yelling but she didn't. A small boy nearly ran at her and she started cursing him again.

Nathan took me to a more quiet part of the ship. Once we stood at the railing, he said "That's the captain's mother" he explained. "She thinks she owns the ship and hates the fact that she has to share it with thousands of other people. Every day she walks along the boardwalk, hoping to find someone to shout at. She thinks if she shouts at enough people, they would all leave" he laughed. "What she doesn't realize is we are all in the middle of the ocean and no one _can_ leave".

I laughed with him but as our laughter died down and we turned to stare at the endless stretch of water below us, I asked seriously "how do you know so much about the ship?"

He shrugged. "When you live among the people around me, you pick things up".

I nodded solemnly. "What do you mean 'live among the people around you'?" I asked suddenly.

"I didn't mean anything insulting" he said quickly. "But we can't deny we live in separate worlds" he said softly.

Was that the way he saw me? That I was some kind of snob that looked down on people like him? Who did he think he was judging me like that?

"I am not a snob, if that's where you're getting at, Mr. Scott" I said, formally.

His eyes widened in surprise. "I…"

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to take up your time" I said frostily. "I really should be leaving" I said, turning around and walking away. Maybe I was being hypersensitive but I couldn't bear for him of all people to think I'm like that. He should know me better. I had no idea why I thought that when I didn't even know me? But maybe somehow along the way, we connected in a way that most people never did.

When he didn't say anything, I swung around to find him staring at me confused. "I'm not like that, you know" I defended. "I'm not like…_them_".

He looked surprised at the turn of events but he still stood up straight and said truthfully "you're not like them either" he said, jerking his head at the people around us.

"You can't judge me" I said annoyed. "You don't even know me".

He looked amused; a small smile was playing on his mouth. "You're right. I don't" he shrugged. "But I bet I'm the only one who knows what happened to you last night".

I felt my cheeks redden. He _did _know me. I felt a wave of pride. He knew me. Like the woman I was though, my mentality changed in a blink of an eye. Wait a second, who did he think he was? He met me once before in his life and already he was making assumptions about me!

"As a matter of fact, I told my mother" I said indignantly. It was a lie and if he knew my mother, he would know how big a lie it would be.

He looked at me carefully for a moment before slowly walking towards me. Every step he took sent another tremor through my body. My mind went blank; it was like I couldn't think, I couldn't comprehend anything. If you had asked me what two plus two was, I would have said 'blue eyes'.

"What'd she say?" he asked softly as he continued walking towards me.

"Huh?" I asked subconsciously as I watched him slowly walk towards me.

"What did she say?" he asked again, more slowly this time. He stopped right in front of me and looked down at me intently.

"Who?" I asked dazedly.

"Your mother?" he asked patiently. "What did she say?" he asked seriously. He pushed a strand of my hair away again. He moved his hand to my cheek and cupped it in his palm. I rested my cheek in his palm before answering numbly.

"I don't know. I don't talk to my mother" I said, unaware that words were coming out of my mouth. As soon as I spoke, he removed his hand and my head nearly snapped to the side. I only gained control of it at the last second and prevented from getting whiplash. I looked up at him as I rubbed my neck gingerly to find him grinning down at me. I was confused for a moment; my mind still reeling from his touch but then it hit me. The jerk caught me in my lie!

I let out an infuriated sound before turning around and walking away. I would have stomped my feet had my dress been shorter. He was playing me! Stupid…blue eyed….jerk!

I swung around, unable to contain myself. "You are so annoying" I said, exasperated. He gave me an apologetic smile but his eyes still held an amused glint. He was about to open his mouth to say something when a dark look passed his features. He looked past me and his eyes that until then had held laughter, narrowed and darkened. He was staring at something behind me and whatever it was, he didn't like it.

"Nathan? What…?" I asked as I turned around, trying to see what had made him so angry. My eyes fell on a dark figure standing on the landing above us. The shadows covered his face but I could tell that his eyes were trained on me. He saw us staring at him but he didn't shift his gaze.

"Come on" Nathan said firmly as he grabbed my arm and led me away from that spot.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I continued staring up at the man. He wore a hat and he looked relaxed as he leaned his arms on the railing staring at me. A shiver went down my spine, this time not a good one. The hair stood on arm and I tried to look away but he held my gaze. Was it one of the men who tried to rape me the night before? I didn't expect them to remember me; they _had_ been awfully drunk.

"Don't look, Haley" Nathan said calmly. "Come on" he grabbed my hand and we walked as evenly as we could away from that spot. We must have walked for fifteen minutes before he pulled me into a closed corner of the ship. It was a small secluded area tucked in the middle of the ship and had a roof over it that prevented sunlight from entering it. It was very inconspicuous and even those who walked past it wouldn't have noticed it. I wondered how much more Nathan knew of this ship.

I leaned against the wall, breathing hard.

"I think you're safe here" Nathan said quietly as he looked carefully at the people passing the alley we were in.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, confused. "Who was that man?" a sliver of apprehension made its way to my tone of voice.

Nathan looked left and right around the corner but he didn't say anything. "Nathan" I said tugging on his shirt. "You're scaring me".

He looked down at me finally and his eyes registered the fear in mine. He let out a sigh before he leaned forward and pressed his hands on the wall by the sides of my head. "I'm not the only one who knows what happened to you last night" he admitted. His face was pressed close to mine yet I could barely make out his features in the darkness of the hallway. "I just know that you were attacked" he hesitated before asking "could you…help me out here?"

"I don't know you" I blurted out. I looked up into his eyes, praying to see some sort of understanding in them. "How can I trust you?"

He looked down at me intently before saying "you can't. But I just need to know if that was a random act of violence or if...someone's after you" he asked, frowning slightly at the thought of it.

_Someone could be after me? That was impossible…But yet the previous night's attacks shook me up and I had a sleepless night thinking about it over and over again. The shock was still there; it hadn't sunk it yet that I was attacked. It was more likely it had been a random act but might it have been planned instead? No, of course not. Nobody knew I was there in the first place, it had to be random._

"Who was that, Nathan?" I asked ignoring his question. "That man watching us? Do you know him?"

Nathan shook his head vehemently but we were already been connected. He might be a good liar but I knew he wasn't telling me the truth.

"Mr. Scott?" I asked, more demanding.

He faltered. "I was being paranoid, it was no one and I realized that as we were walking away" he looked at me gently. "Don't worry your head about it, Miss James. It was nothing and I overreacted because I was worried you'd get hurt".

I let out a sigh of relief and raised my hand to my face. "You scared me, Mr. Scott. For a moment there, I thought I was being stalked" I rubbed my eyes gingerly, the load on my shoulders disappearing.

I looked at him to find him staring down at me with a stunned look on his face. His eyebrows were raised and he looked confused. I was about to ask him what was wrong when I saw him staring at my hand.

"You're married" was all he said.

A huge lump formed in my throat. We both looked at my hand that was raised in front of me, the big emerald ring that Lucas had given me when we got engaged staring back at us. I quickly dropped my hand and hid it, trying to erase the moment.

"It was a random act of violence" I said swiftly, answering his previous question. He looked dazed for a moment before nodding in agreement.

"Of course" he said, looking away. "I guess you'll be okay then".

"Yes" I agreed, wondering what I should do. Lie and tell him that it wasn't what he thought. That I didn't love my fiancée and he didn't mean anything to me. No, he would think I was a loose woman and the last thing I wanted was for Nathan Scott to think badly of me.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asked quietly. His hands were still glued to the wall by the sides of my head and I could hear his quiet level breathing.

"I'll be fine" I whispered.

"Okay" he said, pushing himself up straight. He walked back a few paces before saying "it was nice meeting you…Mrs. James".

And just like that, he was gone.


	9. The Beginning of The End

Married. She was married.

That sentence repeated itself in my mind until it no longer made sense. Maybe if I repeated it enough times, it would no longer hurt. The shock now mingled with hurt and an old forgotten sadness that reminded me of the first time I lost her.

_You vowed to forget about her _I chastised myself.

I knew how much it would hurt, it was after all a seemingly recurring incident; I fall for her, she breaks my heart. I never wanted to get close to her again; I had accepted that she was out of life but then she falls into it all over again. How could I have ever even thought of her? She was out of my league. Girls like her don't marry men like me. She married rich blocks who could afford to fill a tub with their diamonds.

I've tried to make her fall in love with me once before. It was a long time ago; so long it didn't even matter. It didn't even matter because it didn't work. It never worked. She left. And she came back only to stomp on the once broken pieces of my heart, shattering it again.

_It wasn't my fault _I thought angrily as I dropped down on my small bunk bed. I leaned my back against the hard bed and stared up at the bottom of the top bunk. _She needed my help and I helped her. What was I suppose to do? Run away? Ignore her?_

But I had never been able to do that, have I? Ignore her, how could anyone do so?

The door of my small cabin was shut and locked just like my heart had once been before I opened it up for her. Twice. What ever happened to the expression, once bitten, twice shy? You would assume that I would have learned my lesson.

I shut my eyes and shifted to my side. My eyes flew open again as they came to rest on the little window on the wall opposite the bed. The window showed nothing really, just an endless view of the middle of the ocean. Still waters ran deep and not one thing disturbed the motionless movement of the waters at this level. It was an unnerving thought for most, to be living beneath the ocean's level under tons and tons of water that could suffocate you without hurting itself.

_I'm scared of the ocean._

_Why, Hales?_

_I can't swim._

_I'll teach you. It's as easy as pie once you learn how._

_I don't want to drown. _

_I won't let that happen to you…I would never let anything happen to you._

I never forgot her. I could never forget her. Her touch, the way her hand fitted into mine, the way her brown eyes looked up at me, the way they filled with laughter but her mouth remained grim because she was thought to try not to laugh as it was unladylike to open your mouth.

I almost thought she was interested in me; when she smiled at me and her eyes had filled with naked adoration. Was she playing me? Was she not who I thought she was?

Another thought came into my mind. I suddenly realized that she didn't remember me from her past. She didn't recognize me… Had I meant so little to her that she could brush me away so easily? How could she not remember me when she was my everything?

Damn her for making me feel this way. Would it never leave, this aching pain in my heart? What do I do? Am I doomed to live out my life alone? Because I could never want another after Haley and there could never be a second best. My Haley was lost to me forever. We could never be together. She belonged in the arms of another man. A rage of anger went through me at the image of her with someone else.

I could kill him; that would set her free and straight to me. No, it would not work, she must be in love with him and it would break her heart if anything happened to her precious husband. I don't mind hurting anybody else but her…I could never live with myself if she was miserable.

_Always and forever, Nathan. We'll be friends always and forever._

It stung. I closed my eyes wishing it was for the last time. Her lovely face lingered in my mind and I felt another pang of hurt. _Just breathe Nathan _I told myself _Along the way, it will get easier…_

The wind's strong gusts blew my dark short hair past my forehead and it made the autumn leaves glide a few feet from the ground. I ruffled my hair trying to make it look more presentable. I looked down at my clothes; they were different. I fingered the material; it was pure wool. I was wearing a morning suit with a long overcoat over it and on my feet, black oxford shoes. The most surprising thing was it looked new. I was actually wearing new clothes, entirely different circumstances for me.

I looked around at my surroundings, squinting slightly as the strong wind blew in my eyes. I was in a field, a huge one actually. I was actually standing on a small hill and I could look down and see a huge stretch of land below me. There were little flowers growing everywhere and beyond the field, there was a big forest.

It was a beautiful place; really amazingly beautiful. On the left, away in the distance, there was a small white hut. Rows and rows of chairs sat facing the hut and I could see people swarming around. They were waiting for someone.

_I _was waiting for someone.

At that moment, a white horse drawn carriage came riding down a dirt road. It passed the small hill I stood on and I craned my head trying to catch a better look. No luck. The horses drawing it were big white stallions and ivy flowers creped around the doors and the wheels. The carriage stopped a hundred feet from the white hut.

And I knew who it was.

The door was opened and a figure stepped out of the carriage. A figure in a white wedding dress. God, she was breathtaking. Her hair was for once lying loose down instead of pulled back in a bun. The wind blew her hair over face and she laughed as she tried to brush it away. She was holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and she waved at the people in the hut with the other. They smiled and cheered at her; it was her day.

A figure pulled away from the crowd and walked up to her. I couldn't see his face but it was apparent that she knew him. She smiled at him and he linked his hand though hers as they walked down the aisle.

"No" I muttered. "No".

I was running down the hill faster than I had ever run before. "Haley!" I yelled. "Haley!"

She didn't hear me; she didn't even try to listen. They had reached the little hut and now they stood underneath it, holding hands as they listened to the priest talk. I increased my speed; the hut was too far away. I would never make it. _Run, don't think, just run. _She can't marry him, she belongs to me. She always did. I can't lose her to another man.

"Haley" I yelled again but she didn't hear me. They were exchanging the rings. And no matter how fast I ran, the hut still maintained at the same distance. And the worst thing was Haley was staring at him…the way I stared at her.

"No" I yelled as I tried to keep running. Tired…so tired. I can't…run…anymore. My breath came out in short ragged gasps. My head was blinding me and all I could see were pinpoints of light in the distance. Blood was rushing to my head and my lungs screamed for air.

I dropped to my knees and the world came swarming around my mind. I gasped for air but I couldn't breathe. All I saw was blinding white light caused by the ache in my head. I strained to open my eyes and when I did, I smiled.

Haley was staring at me from the white hut. She walked a little way from her husband and stopped, watching me. Her eyes filled with sadness as she lifted her hand slowly. She smiled her sweet smile and waved at me. She was waving goodbye.

"No!" I screamed. "No!"

I awoke in a drench of sweat, gasping and straining for air. I was panting as I sat up in my bunk bed, trying to clear my mind. I looked up to see the upper bunk mattress still lying straight, and not low due to someone lying on it. Tim hadn't come to sleep yet. I thanked god for small miracles; if he saw me twisting and turning about in my sheets, he would have thought I was possessed.

I untangled myself from my sheets and hugged my knees to my chest. Just a bad dream I told myself. Just a bad dream.

I jerked and nearly fell off the bed when someone pounded on my cabin door. _Go away_ I thought. Tim had a key so it must be someone else. _Leave me alone._ The pounding didn't let up; it had a constant beat that seemed to increase with every second. I laid back down on the mattress and tried to drown the noises with a pillow. Whoever it was would eventually go away. 

The pillow was over my head so I couldn't see anything. I kept hearing the constant knocking on my door but I ignored it. I heard the door being kicked open and someone entered the room. Next thing I knew, the pillow was flying from my face and a light flashed on my face. I squinted in the brightness of the light.

"Nathaniel Scott?" a man's voice asked from behind the flashlight.

For a moment, I contemplated telling them the truth. I had a record, after all. I had killed before. But they were crooks themselves and I always made sure that the ones I killed were never missed.

"Yes" I said, making a spilt decision. The light was put off and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could make out the silhouette of three men.

"Come with us please" the man said.

I hated people telling me what to do. It was one of my peeves, my main one actually. It was probably because all my life I had been independent.

"Why?" I demanded as I stood up. I was taller than those three guys and I could be very intimidating when I wanted to. The three guys exchanged a look and I smirked, assuming they were scared.

The next thing I knew one of them had taken something out of their pocket and then everything went blank.

Haley's POV

I walked down the ship's deck lost in my thoughts. People were rushing back to their cabins as the steady gusts of the wind blew making it too cold for people to be out. The sky was that shade of grey that took place just before the sun would set. I brushed strands of my brown hair off my face as I subconsciously made my way to my cabin. I was actually thinking of a lovely tune I had concocted in my mind right after Nathan had walked off from me.

The moment I had watched his retreating back, the melody came to me. I never told anyone this but I loved music, cherished it really. Listening to it wasn't enough for me; I needed to play it and sing it…feel it. My father taught me to play instruments, despite the protests of my mother. Behind my mother's back, he would teach me about music sheets and past singers and noted. And it was in that world where I lost myself in.

I quickened my pace as the words now came to me. Writing music was something I had recently become interested in. I had never been too into it when I was younger because everything I had written came out like a very bad nursery rhyme. But lately I've been pouring my feelings into words and harmonies that made it seem like living an empty blank life is worth it because you could understand the pain.

I walked inside the First Class entrance and smiled at the doorman there. He tipped his hat at me; it was simple gestures like that that lifted my spirits. I picked up my skirts and making sure that no one was there, I ran up the stairs.

"That's actually much easier to do in pants" a friendly voice rang through the air in front of me.

I looked up to find Karen Roe standing at the top of the stairs, smiling down at me. "I'm sure it is" I said, smiling back at her. "But I wouldn't know. I've…I've never worn pants".

She laughed as she walked down the stairs to meet me. "You should try it child. It's much more practical, I've always said".

"I can't" I said, looking down as I back traced my steps so we could talk in the landing between two stairs. "My mother is very…" I trailed away. My mother was…what? How could I define her in one word? She was the embodiment of everything society had carved her into.

Karen nodded in understanding. "I can imagine" she sympathized. "I grew up a little differently than you did though. I was born poor, you see".

"Lucky you" I muttered before I could stop myself. I mentally kicked myself as I quickly continued "I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound bitter. It's just days like these when you feel like trying to break free but…"

Karen ran her hand through her brown hair and I envied her locks; she was the only woman I knew in 'high living' that let down her hair. How liberating. "When I was younger, I used to dream of being rich and having the pretty dresses with the big houses. But I realized that when you do have all you ever wanted, people tend to expect more or different things from you. Like the way you should act and the way they want you to speak. Being rich comes with a set of rules that are irrelevant and chauvinistic and if you don't apply them, you are immediately cast the black sheep of society" she sighed.

"I hate pretending to be someone I'm not" I blurted out. "And I hate being forced to be with someone that I don't even like. But I don't even have a choice in that matter".

"Life always presents you with choices. You could choose whether you want to be accepted or have fun" she grinned. "Either way, I could never be accepted by 'them'" she said, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she said the last word. "Because to them, I am merely an outsider who got lucky".

"I don't think you did" I said truthfully. "Got lucky, I mean. I think it must have been brilliance on your part to get where you are" I paused before continuing "everybody else simply inherited their money. Nobody here understands how hard fortune is to come by" I grinned. "Least of all me".

Karen laughed. "Why thank you my dear but I think you may understand more than you think" she stopped when she heard the clock strike six. "I'm sorry dear but I must dash. It was nice meeting you".

"Nice meeting you too" I said, smiling at her. I hesitated before continuing "thank you. I feel better knowing I'm not the only one that thinks this way".

She smiled before walking down the stairs. Halfway down, she stopped and turned "you'll be alright, my dear. You've got spirit" and with that she walked away without another word.

I watched her retreating back wondering if she actually meant it. Shrugging it off, I made my way to my cabin. It was actually a cabin I shared with my darling mother. Lucas had another cabin down the hall, not too near for it to stir some gossip and yet not too far so he could join us for drinks whenever he pleased. In my opinion though, it could never be too far.

I walked into the cabin, admiring the beautiful Turner landscapes on the walls. It was my only say in the décor of the cabin, these paintings. The whole cabin had been remodeled to my mother's taste. It opened up to a huge living room with thick carpets covering every inch of the floor and big floral covered couches that were placed in random parts of the room. Every inch of the wooden coffee tables and mantelpiece were covered…no littered with priceless antiques. Abstract paintings were placed in between the beautiful timeless Turner paintings, making the wall seem cluttered.

My mother thought that this room was a piece of art, a timeless beauty but to my eyes, it was an interpretation of who she was. Chaotic and suffering from strain as she tried to add whatever it took to add to her beauty. At first appearance she was beautiful but after a while, the beauty fades and all you can see is someone trying too hard.

I walked away from the room, the feeling of claustrophobic overwhelming me like it always did. I made for my room which was to the right of the living room. I kept the piano in my room; my mother objected at first but she soon realized that there was no room in the living room for it.

I sat on the piano bench and opened the lid of the piano. I pressed down on the keys at random then I opened my mouth and sang.

_Can't remember my last smile,_

_I know it must have been awhile,_

_Can't remember those days we shared,_

_Once upon a time when we all cared._

_Can't remember how I lost you,_

_But the next day you were gone so it must've be true,_

_Can't remember how long I've been crying,_

_The tears are dried now but my soul is still dying._

_Then I hear his voice, I see his face,_

_In a rush all together, an unexpected place,_

_And somehow I know it'll be alright,_

_Because he'll be there through the night._

_Promise me, we'll stay,_

_Forever this way,_

_Don't lie, Don't leave_

_Don't cry, Don't breathe._

_Just promise me, you'll stay_

_And I'll love you always,_

_And Forever this way…_

I blinked wondering where the last two stanzas had come from. I had only sang the first two in my mind and when I meant 'how I lost you' it had been about my father but the later lines had been about Na…No, it can't be about him. I don't even know him…And he just walked out on me! How could I pretend he mattered to me when he just left me alone to fend for myself!

But then again, I'm not his responsibility. I belong to another man. Nathan didn't matter to me; he was out of my life. But, I just remembered that I never got to thank him for saving me_. Just forget it, Haley. He probably knows how you feel. As in grateful, he probably knows that you feel grateful._

Unless he knows that your heart pounds very loudly and very fast every time you're with him. But how can he know? _He probably heard it._

I closed my eyes, letting my fingers rest on the keys lightly. I wanted to try and finish the song. I closed my eyes and let my fingers play by experience.

_Can't remember anything before you,_

_My hearts pounds at every thing you do,_

_Can't remember the things I've done, the life I've led,_

_My mind just plays the moment we first met._

_Can't remember being this afraid,_

_I tell myself that this feeling is in my head,_

_I don't think I could ever get enough,_

_I guess this happens when you're in lo-_

I stopped short, my fingers in the air a few inches above the keys. My heart was pounding hard and my breath came out in short gasps of air.

"Finish it" I whispered to myself.

_Promise me, we'll stay,_

_Forever this way,_

_Don't lie, Don't leave_

_Don't cry, Don't breathe._

_Just promise me, you'll stay_

_And I'll love you always,_

_And Forever this way…_

_Can't remember the last time I felt so scared,_

_I was being silly when I thought you cared,_

_I was alone that night they attacked me,_

_Now you're gone and my life is empty,_

_I think that they're watching, waiting, _

_And I'm scared they'll start hurting._

And it hit me just then. That I had been attacked. How close I had come to being killed.

I jumped up from the piano bench and ran for the toilet. I dropped on my knees and vomited. I tried to get rid of the awful feeling in my heart but when I couldn't feel anything inside of me anymore, when all I felt was emptiness, alone on that bathroom floor I cried my heart out.

And I don't even know why I was crying…Because I had nearly died or because I had come to life…


	10. To Save Her

**Hi guys! Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews; I hadn't meant on updating so fast but reading your reviews kind of boosted my confidence on this story. I've been trying to work on how I could add 'you jump, I jump' in this story and I think I've got an idea but I don't know if it'll turn out well. So, I guess we'll see.. If you guys have anymore opinions or requests , please let me know and I'll try my best to write it in. **

**Thanks and enjoy reading; this chapter kinda sucks but I had to put in it. More Naley coming up though,**

Nathan's POV

When I woke up, all I could think of for the next few moments was of the blinding pain in my head. I lifted arm gingerly to rub it and gradually the pain lessened but didn't subside. I blinked and the bleary light in front of my eyes disappeared and I could see again. I shut my eyes tight and then opened them again, trying to make sense of my surroundings.

"Sir, he's awake" I heard someone mutter behind me. I groaned in pain when the pain in my head came back. I could hear footsteps approaching me but they sounded like they were coming from miles away; all I could really hear was the constant pounding in my mind. I clutched the sides of the wooden seat I was sitting on, trying to endure the pain. Through bleary eyes, I saw someone sit down in front of me.

"Mr. Scott?" a very deep voice asked me.

I ignored the voice at first; to me it was just another sound in my head. I clutched my head in my hands and tried to forget about the pain. "Who are you?" I asked, panting slightly from the exertion but my tone steely.

"That question is neither here nor there and it is irrelevant to our business here. But you can refer to me as Mr. Smith".

My head slowly raised on its own to face him; every time I raised it, it snapped back down. Finally I managed to face him; at least I think I was looking at him. My eyes were barely open again and I could only see a blear outline of him. I opened my mouth to speak but there was a discomfort inside it. I spat out a broken tooth and a bit of blood before I spoke. "What do you want with me?"

"I have a proposition for you" Mr. 'Smith' continued.

"No".

He laughed harshly. My eyes finally cleared up and I saw him for the first time. He was a huge man, which was what I first noticed. He was more buff than tall with muscular arms that seemed more like tree trunks than human limbs. His face seemed out of proportioned; everything about it was big with the exception of his eyes. He had a broad nose, thick lips and small beady bright blue eyes. Despite the fact that he had excess hair on his arms and legs, he was almost bald on his head. He wore an expensive suit and gold rings gleamed on his thick fingers.

He stood up and paced in front of me. He stood a little way from me and nodded his head at someone behind me. I heard footsteps behind me and I turned around to see what was going on. Before I could see who it was coming over to me, I felt someone hold my arms tight and someone's fist connected with my face. It wasn't a very hard punch, I've had worse but still I spat out more blood. I tried to struggle out but two guys were holding me down.

"Nobody says no to me, Mr. Scott" Mr. Smith said as he sat down again in front of me. "This proposition I'm about to offer you is not based on mutual agreement" he nodded to the men to release me. "It's based on what really matters to you".

I didn't say anything. I was trying to think of a right moment to punch him before his men could hold me down again. I hated not having the upper hand and I wanted to destroy that face for telling me what to do. I balled my hands into fists and was about to strike when he spoke up again.

"How well do you know a Haley James?" he asked calmly.

Confused, I relaxed my fists subconsciously. Then as I processed his words, wave upon wave of anger filled me. My head burned and my vision was blocked with hot white red pinpoints of rage. "If you dare touch her" I started before he interrupted me.

"That's your decision Mr. Scott" he said. "And therein lies my proposition". He paused for a moment before continuing "Miss Haley James is in possession of something I need. A necklace actually"

The first thing that passed through my mind was the word _Miss_. She wasn't married? Despite my situation, unexpected joy spread through me; she wasn't married! A grin was forming on my face but then it disappeared when the second thing hit me. A necklace… Where do I remember a nec…Haley's necklace! The one she wanted me to get for her…

"That necklace is very valuable and very expensive. It can be traced all the way to the 18th century Tudor Times. Its whereabouts disappeared about twenty years ago. From what I've heard of late, her fiancée Lucas Roe gave it to her. How he obtained it, I do not care nor intend to find out" Mr. Smith said. "I've been looking for that one necklace for the better part of my life. Very simply, I want it. The first attempt to steal that necklace obviously failed or you wouldn't be here".

First attempt? Then it dawned on me. "You sent those men to kill her" I said slowly. I heard a snicker behind me and one of the men that had earlier held me down came to view. He was the first man I had taken down that night. "You tried to kill her!" I shouted as I stood up. Rage boiled in my veins as I tried to make my way to Mr. Smith; I needed to break that calm face for what he tried to do to her. He tried to hurt her! I didn't even make two feet; his henchmen grabbed me and pushed me on the stool.

"Anger won't get you anywhere, Mr. Scott" Mr. Smith said. He watched as the men struggled to hold me down and he waited until I had calmed down. "Now, I would rather kill her; it makes it easier but the last thing I need is a dead body on this ship. It ruins reputations and I don't want people looking into it. It might lead back to me" he took out a cigar from his suit pocket and motioned for one of his men to bring a light. He lit the cigar and puffed smoke on my face. "That's where I need your help; I want you to get that necklace for me".

"No". Another punch, this time in my gut. It knocked the breath off me and I sat there gasping for air. I tried to breathe in normally and when I finally did so, I managed to say again "No".

Mr. Smith waved his hand to stop the men from punching me again. He looked at me with a glint in his eyes that confused me. He didn't look angry yet there was an odd look in his face "You think the worst I can do to you is hurt you?" he laughed tactlessly. "I'm going that necklace one way or another. If you don't get it for me, then I'll get someone else to. And they might not care if your girl lives or dies".

"Are you threatening me?" I asked in a low voice.

"Yes".

"And if I don't do it, you'll hurt her" I said.

"Yes".

I didn't even have to think; I had to do it. I couldn't let someone get hurt because of me. "How?" I asked.

"I don't care. Get close to her, use her, drug her if you have to" he said carelessly. "There's a fiancée in the background so you might want to go about it slowly; he is a very powerful man and I do not intend him on finding out. Killing him would be the last straw but if I have to; I will".

"How long do I have?"

He paused as he thought about it. "Until the ships docks in America".

"Why do you want this necklace so badly?" I asked, curiously.

"You don't need to know" he said, dropping the ashes of his cigar on the floor. He took one last puff before throwing that too on the ground.

At that moment, there was a knock on the door. The man standing guard next to it opened it and a man in a wheelchair came in. He wheeled his way to Mr. Smith and handed him a letter. As he was about to leave, he stopped in front of me, his scared face smiling at me. I didn't recognize him at first but then I remembered.

"You're alive" I muttered surprised. The last time I had seen him, he had a knife sticking out of his chest. He smiled at me, his front two teeth missing. He lifted his shirt to reveal a bandage that looked like it had been soaked in blood.

"Not dead yet" he cackled. "Not dead".

"That'll be all" Mr. Smith said firmly.

As soon as the door shut behind, I wiped the blood that had dribbled down my chin and asked harshly "why me? why'd you come to me?'

"Because you came to us first" Mr. Smith said simply. He paused before continuing "you wanted this". He walked to the one window in the room and stood, staring out.

_What the heck does that mean?_ I wanted to know more but the way he said it sounded so final. I stood up, trembling a little on my feet. When I steadied myself, I looked him in the eye and said "will that be all?" but even as I said it, I made my way to the door. The men let me go but they stood around, ready to grab me again.

"If you tell anyone, we'll know" he said. "And we'll get to her before you"

I would have killed him there and then if I thought that it would stop Haley from getting hurt. But using clear logic for once, I decided to give him what he wanted. It had a higher chance of saving her. I put my hand on the doorknob and turned it, swinging the door open. I was just about to walk through when his voice rang out again

"Oh and one more thing, Mr. Scott" Mr. Smith said as he stood at the window, his back to me. "If you do this job well… I'll give you your share of the deal".

I turned around and stared at him, wondering what he meant. He looked up from the window and said like a man who had the upper hand "I'll tell you who your father is"

And with that final word, they slammed the door on my face.

**I'm so sorry this chapter sucks but promise you, Naley will be coming.**


	11. With Closed Eyes

**This chapter is a bit confusing. Basically, the ones in italic is Haley's dream and the ones that are not is the stuff that is actually happening. and the guy in her dreams, she doesn't know who he is and I have made no reference to him being Nathan or anyone else. Thanks and enjoy the chapter!!**

The night came for her; just like they always come. As the sun hid itself behind the darkness and the warmth it brought gave way to the cold…always the cold... she lay in her bed, wondering why she felt so different.

"I'm alive" she whispered as she watched the moonlight dance on her walls.

No longer would she drift through meaningless days filled with empty smiles and lifeless souls. Something was born inside her; stirred her like nothing before. True her smile was now broken rather than empty and her soul and her heart didn't seem to belong to her anymore but she could feel again.

Haley could feel the tears of a crying child that had just fallen down along the slippery boardwalk; she could feel the anger of the sailor that had just gotten yelled at for not doing his job properly and most of all she could feel the laughter…everyone's laughter.

And she honestly thought that she could laugh like that one day…someday.

But then when her eyelids fluttered shut and sleep overcame her, her ability to feel made her vulnerable again. And the little child slept soundly as the night came for; as they always come.

_I sat alone in a darkened hallway_, _my back leaning against the wall and my knees pulled close to my chest. There was a light at the end of the hallway; so bright that for one moment I couldn't see anything but then it dimmed; just like they have to at the end. I breathed out with my mouth as I kept my eyes trained on the ground in front of me. The air condensed in front of me and for a moment I could see my own breath coming out in vapor; it was so cold..._

Haley James pushed her blanket off her and groaned, her eyes shut and her mind asleep. She twisted and turned, shivering in the cold.

_I could hear the voices now. The people were coming…running. They were being hunted like deer in the forest chased down by wolves…No, it was more like a bear in his domain running away from mankind…Because the hunters were human…and the humans were hunters…_

_I looked at the end of the hallway and listened to the pounding footsteps…There were children there…they were crying and I wonder if their mother had left them too…I was scared… My heart was beating so fast that I couldn't think straight. At the end of the hallway, the light was blocked by the shadows of the people that were running to this place. I stood up shakily…_

Haley sat up in bed, still asleep. She swung her legs over to the side and stood up. Her face was strained yet still her eyes remained shut…

_The people finally came into view and it seemed like they were running in slow motion… They were running to my direction… I turned to the other direction and saw another light at the other end. I looked to my left and to my shock; I saw dozens and dozens of people running…They were within twenty feet of me. I slowly turned to my right again…and started to run…_

Haley James walked to her bedroom door and pulled it open. She didn't hit anything on her way out because although she was fast asleep, she worked on force of habit. She walked to the cabin door and walked out of the room she shared with her mother. The hallway lights were dimmed and the only sounds that were heard were the crashing waves outside the thin walls.

_I turned around as I ran…The people were within ten feet of me and behind them…the hunters came…It was a stampede…As the hunters came, the sound of rushing waves filled my ears…A flood of water poured into the crowded hallway… I turned again and prayed to God to save me…_

She climbed down the wide staircase to the deck below.

A few hundred metres away and two floors down, Nathan Scott sat in his cabin, tending to his wounds. As soon as he had been released from his kidnapping, he had wanted to run straight to her cabin and keep her close to him. Keep her safe. But his face was in a mess, there were wounds all over and she would ask questions. And it might lead to her finding out about things she shouldn't know yet. No, it was better this way. She was protected. The wounds were light, she would see him tomorrow.

Her foot seemed to find each stair below her and she held out her hands by her side to steady her. She was silent in her movements and still her eyes remained shut.

_**Haley…**__Someone was calling me…I ignored the sound; it was in my head…__**Haley…**__ Trembling, I stopped at the other end of the hallways and turned around to witness the scene before me. The water was flooding the hallway in tidal waves…The people at the back had fallen and the hunters stepped over them crushing their bodies as the water swept them away. The people nearest to the front had reached me; they pushed me aside as they ran past me and I fell to the ground. The water hadn't reached me yet but it would. I swerved to the right to avoid being crushed and trembled waiting for the stampede to pass. Finally the people that were still standing had left the room. And there was silence._

_The water was lapping my body gently. It was so cold…I was so tired. __**Haley…**_

Nathan frowned as he suddenly felt troubled. Something was wrong. He didn't know what but he could feel trouble brewing. His mind suddenly seemed unease. Like someplace far in the echoes of his mind, someone was screaming for him. He stood up suddenly and then something clicked in his head. _Haley._

_**Haley…**__The same voice calling me again. I raised my head slightly to look up. My eyes widened in surprise and my mouth fell open slightly, agape. I pushed myself off the water and slowly stood up on knees that trembled. __**Haley… **__I stood up; the water was only ankle deep and looked at him again. Standing alone in the other end of the hallway…my blue eyed savior…the one whose eyes had reminded me of my necklace…The one I had abandoned that fateful day although I had promised I would never leave… He was back to haunt me…_

Haley's hand reached for the entrance doorknob and turned it slowly. She walked out into the wooden deck, her hair rising on her arms in the cold. And still her eyes remained shut.

_I walked slowly to him…my feet splashing the water as I treaded on it…The tidal waves had stopped and the water remained at the same level it was… I wondered if I should smile at him as I walked to him…He was looking at me intently…Yet he was a child, only a child but as I looked at my small hands and my undersized figure, I realized that I too was a child…Time had stopped for us…or maybe we had slowed it down…_

_I stopped in front of him, my eyes filled with curiosity… I reached up and touched his face and he closed his eyes at my touch. Then he opened them and looked at me with fierce intensity… "Who are you?" I whispered…His eyes softened and he took my hand from his face and kissed it… "You don't remember me?" he finally asked as he held my hand in between us… I hesitated. "I know you saved me when we were kids" I said slowly… He let go of my hand and I thought I had hurt him. Then he kissed the top of my head and pulled me close to him…He held me close and I found myself holding him back…_

"_I'll always save you" he said softly… I drew back and looked up at his face… "But I don't know who you are" I murmured… He smiled down at me. He ran his hand lightly through the base of my hair and my eyes followed his movements as my heart stopped…Then my eyes met his ones again… "It doesn't matter" he said softly… "The only thing that matters right now is you…"… I hesitated before saying "the only thing I remember is I think I loved you" I laughed softly as the tears fall down…I looked down, ashamed… "Does that sound ridiculous?"… "No" he whispered, tilting my chin up. I looked in his eyes again. "It doesn't Haley"… _

_He looked in the end of the other hallway and frowned… "We don't have much time"… I wiped my tears with my childlike hands… "Why?" I asked confused… He smiled gently… "It's the way it is…" Fresh tears fell down my face and I cried softly… "I don't want to leave you again…" He kissed my tears and I closed my eyes… "I loved you too Haley" he whispered…_

_But when I open my eyes again…he was gone…_

Haley stood in the middle of the wooden deck, the wind blowing her for once let down hair. And although her eyes remained shut; tears rolled down her cheeks.

_I would have cried there and then but at that exact moment, the sound of pounding feet echoed through the hallway. I looked up at the other end of the hallway and saw the hunters…They saw me and smiled cruelly… I screamed…I turned; my hair whipping around my face and ran… _

Haley turned suddenly and started to run down the long deck to the other end of the ship.

_I ran down the hallway to another one. I ran down long corridors, panting and crying… I ran until I couldn't breathe but the steady footsteps that followed me and the cruel cackling sound prompted me to keep on moving… I turned around to find them within ten feet of me…I suddenly turned right around a corner and found myself staring at a dead end. I turned around to find at the other end, a balcony…_

Haley stopped at the other end of the deck. The wind was howling at her head and the tears were now dry on her face. Sleep walking; she made her way to the railing at the end of the deck.

_The hunters would kill me if they caught me…The only way to survive was to jump off the balcony… I walked over to it and looked over the railing at the ground below… The ground loomed at me from twenty feet down… I looked at the corridor I had come from to find the hunters there already…They smiled at me like a predator would at its prey… They walked slowly to me and I knew that I had no choice… I swung one leg over the railing…_

Haley walked to the railing and swung one leg over.

_And swung the other too…_

Haley stumbled a little as she tried to swing the other leg over. She tripped; below her the ocean raged on. She managed to swing the other one over. Sixty feet below her, her death awaited her in the form of icy waters.

_I turned to face the hunters… "Don't come near me" I screamed. "I swear to God I'll jump"… They laughed at my threat…I looked down at the ground, some twenty feet away._

"Don't come near me" Haley screamed at no one. "I swear to God I'll jump". She turned around and looked down, ready to jump.

"Don't do it" Nathan said as he ran to the deck. He saw her standing over the railing, her hair billowing in the wind and at that moment he had never been so scared in his life.

"Don't come near me" she screamed. She was sobbing now. "Stay back"

Nathan stopped running the moment he was ten feet away from her. "Take my hand and I'll pull you back in" he said gently, his voice breaking at her pitiful state.

"No!" she said. "Stay where you are. I mean it. I'll let go".

"Don't. I won't lose you again" he said softly as he slowly walked to her.

"Don't come any closer" she threatened. "Leave me alone"

He made a decision there and then. He took off his shoes and walked closer to her. "If you let go of that railing and fall down, then I'm jumping in there and saving you" he said as he took of his jacket.

"What?" she said, distractedly.

"I mean it" he said. "You jump, I jump".

Haley James opened her eyes finally. She looked down at the raging ocean below her and her confusion gave way to terror. She started screaming as she held the railing tightly. Her vertigo gave way as she felt herself slipping, slipping into the vast darkness of the ocean.

"I got you" someone said as he grabbed on to her. "I've got you" he steadied her and then wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in. She clutched to him and held on until she was safe and even then she didn't let go.

"I've got you" he kept saying as he held her close on the wooden deck of the ship and she cried into his shirt; the vast darkness of the night enveloping them. And the night would come for her…as it always came…

Yet he would always save her…


	12. I Always Need You

I wondered if it was apparent to people how red my face is.

It was a good twelve hours after the incident by the railing where in my confusion, I had nearly jumped off the ship but the glow I had since his arms wrapped around mine was still there. I blushed just thinking about it. I wondered why I never felt this way with Lucas; maybe because I didn't hate Nathan. Who could hate him? He was everything a man was supposed to be.

Oh no, what if he thought I was some kind of psycho? I mean I did nearly kill myself… Or he might think I attract trouble. It might be true but I don't want him to think that! Oh God, I have to stop thinking about him, he was taking up my whole brain and I needed to be on my toes right at that moment.

"Oh my God, Haley. I absolutely love your dress" Jane Harrison said as she walked up to me, a champagne glass in her hand. "It is simply divine"

"Where on Earth did you get it, darling?" Emma Lowther piped up next to her.

I looked down at my green cocktail dress and wondered if they were being sarcastic. It was just about the ugliest dress I had ever seen with tiny cap sleeves and a narrow waist and a flared skirt. It wasn't as long as most my dresses were, it ended a few inches below my knee and it had a bareback. I nearly threw up putting it on. But my mother and Lucas told me how lovely they thought I looked and by the look of their steely glances, I knew I had no room for argument.

"Lucas bought it for me" I mumbled out.

"Why, isn't that lovely. He's buying you presents already and you're not even married yet" Jane said. Did I mention she has a thick Southern accent? There's nothing wrong with that but the girl has lived in Paris all her life so how she got that accent is a thought that is beyond me. But I think she has an Uncle from the South so maybe there's where she got it.

"We should have married rich too, Jane" Emma said, smiling as she shook her bright head of locks.

I feigned delight and said with laughter in my voice "you'd only be too lucky"

They looked confused and I don't think they understood me but the next moment, they smiled graciously just as they had been taught all their lives. Someone should shoot them.

"So, tell us, Haley, how do we get a man as wealthy and proper as Mr. Scott?" Emma asked, curiously.

"Well" I said, pretending to think. "Looks are always important but not every one is lucky in that department. I'm sure you know what I mean" I said, smiling pointedly.

They smiled at me, nodding but it was so transparent that they had no idea what I meant. For the first time since this luncheon started, I was having fun.

"I realize that men like women who speak their minds", I said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean, luv?" Jane asked.

"Women who speak what they think" when they remained confused, I continued "You know, women who say things that they think without anyone asking them".

Finally a reaction. They looked shocked. "You mean we speak to men before being spoken to?" Emma asked in a hushed voice.

I nodded, pleased with myself. "Oh and there's one more thing you should do" I leaned in and whispered something in their ears. I wish I could have seen their faces turned from curiosity to confusion and finally to disgust. It would have been such a scene. They stared at me annoyed before turning their skirts and walking away huffed. I had to control myself from laughing too hard. My mother caught my eyes from across the room and she had seen the whole scene, I could tell from the glare she was giving me. That killed my buzz.

I was about to walk to the huge buffet table to get a glass of water when someone suddenly said in a lovely lilting voice "why Haley, how nice to see you again"

I swung around. "Miss Roe" I exclaimed, truly delighted this time. "How are you?"

"I'm good but truthfully the reason why I wanted to talk to you was to tell you that I have noticed from the beginning of this truly awful luncheon that a devastatingly handsome man has had his eyes on you for awhile now"

"Who?" I asked, looking around the huge banquet room.

"Don't be silly, as if any man in this room could be attractive in any way. No, it's a man from outside looking in, child" she said, smiling as she jerked her head at the big glass windows that opened to the deck outside. It was a two-way mirror and I could see the people outside as they could see me.

As I looked out, I caught my breath. _Nathan._

"I can cover for you, Miss James" Karen winked at me as she walked away. I smiled at her retreating back before looking around the area to see if anyone was staring at me. I back paced a few feet trying to look as inconspicuous as I could. When my back hit cold marble, I turned around and realized that I was against a pillar. I quickly ducked behind the pillar, my breath coming out in short gasps.

I tiptoed to the huge front doors opening onto the deck and tried to open it as quietly as possible. The huge doors wouldn't budge. I looked around to see if anyone was staring at me and to my relief no one had noticed me yet. I pushed the door again and it didn't move. Annoyed, I shoved against the door making the door shake and a loud sound emitting from it. I looked around again and the noise of me whacking the door had rendered people to turn and stare at me. I bit back a curse and smiled politely at them as I continued trying to open the door.

A waiter came up to me, carrying a tray filled with champagne glasses and whispered "it opens it, ma'am". I smiled at him and then at the people around who was staring at me. Then I turned away, scowling as I pulled the door and slipped out of it. As soon as the cool air hit my skin, I walked a little way and hid behind a wall so the people in the banquet hall couldn't see me. I waited a couple of minutes before I went looking for Nathan. He had disappeared from the place I had spotted him earlier.

I found him standing a little way from the second entrance of the banquet hall. It was on the side that had no windows looking out which made sure that no one could see us. He was standing with a group of other men. They were laughing loudly and a lot of backslapping and boisterous behavior was going on. He hadn't noticed me yet and I took the opportunity to look at him.

In a group of generally good-looking men, he was by far the most handsome one of them all. He was leaning against the railing and the wind was blowing his dark hair slightly. I just realized that it was the first time I had ever seen him laugh freely. His eyes twinkled with amusement and his white teeth gleamed against his face. After a moment, one of his friends noticed me. He nodded at me and nudged Nathan. I straightened my dress as he turned and suddenly saw me. He straightened up quickly and his friends were smirking as they said goodbye to him and left.

And suddenly we were alone.

"Hi" I said softly as I walked up to him.

"Hi" he said as he looked at me closely. "Did you just go to a costume party or something?"

Surprisingly, that made me laugh. I twirled my skirt. "I take it you don't like my dress".

"I'm sorry. That came out wrong" he said. "You look nice"

"Thank you"

"The dress looks nice on you"

"You said that already"

He grinned and then jerked his head at the entrance to the banquet hall. "I saw you inside earlier. You looked like you were having fun", he said, smirking.

I made a slicing movement against my neck and he laughed. "Are the parties you go to always that lively?" he asked.

"Yes actually" I said slightly mournfully. "I've always wanted to see what a real party looks like"

"Nothing like that, I assure you," he said as he moved slightly to his left to make room for me. I stood next to him and leaned my arms against the railing.

"Look about yesterday…" I began before he interrupted me.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Haley" he cut in. "It doesn't matter what I think"

"It doe…" I stopped short, not wanting to tread on unsteady ground. "I just don't want you to think I'm some kind of psycho. I mean nearly every time you see me, I'm on the verge of getting killed", I said lightly.

"Maybe that's because it's the only time you need me", he said just as lightly. But I could hear the strain in his voice. We were looking out at the ocean and I brushed my hair away from my face as the breeze continued to blow against us.

"In that case, I'll stay on the verge of getting killed," I muttered softly.

"Excuse me?" he asked, turning to face me.

"Nothing" I said, embarrassed. "Um…the thing was I… have this really bad sleep walking problem so that's what I was…um doing last night…" I paused. "Sleep walking"

"You were sleep walking?" he asked me skeptically. Then he grinned. "Is this a recurring problem?"

I blushed. "Not really. I mean I had this problem a few years back right after…Right after my dad died but it only lasted a couple of weeks and then it went away. But now it's coming back"

He didn't say anything at first and I wondered if I scared him off with being too informative. But then he looked at me intently and said, "My mother passed away a few years back too"

"Oh" I said surprised that he had caught on to that subject when I had only said it because it was a slip of the tongue. I wondered how much more I should say. I decided to just take a plunge and blurted out "I remember crying every night".

"I know" he said but as soon as he said those words, he bit his lip and turned away, like it was a slip of his tongue. Then he said softly to me "I'm sorry to hear about you dad"

"I'm sorry about your mum"

He looked at me carefully and I could feel goose bumps forming on my hands and legs that had nothing to do with the chilly air. Then he raised an eyebrow and asked me in a carefree way "so, do you have dreams when you sleep walk?"

"Yes" I said slowly then added "but I can never remember them"

"Maybe because when you awake, you think you're still dreaming", he said solemnly but an amusing glint remained in his eyes. I suddenly realized that he was referring to me sleep walking yesterday and having dreams of what was happening in reality.

"I don't dream about you and I certainly wasn't dreaming of you last night if that was what you were implying" I said defensively. He laughed and I shoved him playfully. "You're such a jerk"

We were silent for a while and I enjoyed our moment of peace after all we've been through. I snuck a glance at him and our eyes met. How I loved those dark blue eyes of his… We just stood there staring at him for a while when I suddenly looked away, unable to take the intensity of the moment.

"Hey Haley?" he suddenly said. I turned to face him again and suddenly we were a lot closer than before. Our faces were nearly touching and my heart rate went up a notch.

"Yes?" I whispered.

He looked at me closely as he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears. "I could never think of you as a psycho" he said softly.

He leaned closer to me and for a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me but I would never know because Karen came bursting out of the banquet hall. I saw her but I didn't move away from Nathan because to be honest, I knew she wouldn't think of me badly.

"Haley!" she called out when she saw me. "Your mother's looking for you, child"

"I'm coming", I said, not tearing my face away from Nathan's. I heard Karen's retreating footsteps and said quietly to Nathan "I have to go"

"I know" he said softly. I tried to leave but for some reason I couldn't walk away from him. His gaze was hypnotizing me and I wondered if he was bewitching me to fall in love with me. He wouldn't have to. Finally, I said "goodbye" and walked a few paces away. As I walked away from him, I wondered how much it would hurt to never see him again…if it hurt this much if our farewell was only temporary.

"Nathan?" I suddenly said as I turned around and looked at him. He was walking away from me too but he turned around at the sound of my voice. I smiled at him. "I never did thank you" I said before explaining "for saving my life"

He looked at me without saying anything for a moment. Then he smiled.

"Thank you"


	13. The Broken Raven

I walked quickly passed the group of men and weaved my way through the crowd, trying to hurry back to the party so my mother wouldn't have noticed me missing

I walked quickly passed the group of men and weaved my way through the crowd, trying to hurry back to the party so my mother wouldn't have noticed me missing. It was amazing! I was walking in a crowd... without bumping anyone! I felt like my ankles had wings on them and I was gliding through the crowd. It was like I was an ethereal being, floating through a mass of people, untouched, indifferent. I felt so free... so full of life. Was this what being in love felt like?

I stopped short and my head came back down to Earth. Two people whacked into me, one man from behind me and one kid ran smack into me. My breath was knocked out of me and for a second, I wasn't sure if I should sway to the front or to the back. The kid rebounded away from me, grabbing a piece of green fabric with him. I closed my eyes and heard the dreaded sound of torn silk.

I opened my eyes and took in the damage. My right sleeve was ripped and my dress suddenly had only one shoulder. The rest of the dress was still intact... still ugly however. I swore loudly at the damage. The kid who had knocked in front of me had finally stabilized himself and was looking at me widely. Then he took off sprinting in the opposite direction, yelling.

"Mamma! Mumma! I learned a new word!"

I looked at him, feeling a grim pleasure at the fact that I was polluting young children's minds. No time for that. Lydia was waiting for me. I pushed past the crowd, pulling up my sleeve as I walked, the sun's heat radiating off my skin and beads of sweat already forming on my forehead.

By the time I found my mother, I was sweating profusely, my sleeve had reached an all time low and my whole shoulder was exposed, my hair was coming out of its elegant bun. She was facing the other way and talking to two elegant looking men and I could tell by the set of her shoulders and her demeanor that she was flirting with them. I made my entrance known with a loud clearing of my throat.

She grimaced, recognizing me and I could almost hear screaming in her mind for me to behave like a lady. She slowly turned around smiling at the men as she did "Mr. Thomas, Mr. Garret, I would like you to meet my lovely dau..." she stopped short.

I swear I had never seen anyone that close to having a heart attack. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened. I thought she was going to lose it. Her whole body just froze. Then like the illusionist she was, she looked past me and continued "ghter but I can't seem to find her". Then she turned back towards the men and continued talking.

Hmmm. On my right hand the opportunity to embarrass my mother in front of people she was trying to impress. Pro-short lived happiness. Con- get the scolding of my life. On my left hand I walk away and change and come back down looking neat. Pro – my mother would accept me as her daughter. Con – I would have to go all the way up, look for a dress and change and then come all the way back down.

I made my decision and was about to open my mouth and say "mother, you wanted to see me?" when a hand wrapped around my waist and a voice hissed in my ear "don't you dare".

I turned around to see Lucas staring down at me, a fake smile playing around his lips. God, even the men were transparent.

"Why hello" I said brightly smiling up at him. "Long time no see. How's the polo arm?" I said punching him on the arm.

He gritted his teeth. "Haley, I think you should leave" he said, through clenched teeth.

Yes! YES! He was telling me to leave. I was free! For mere hours but still! I walked past him as quickly as I could. A thought just struck me. I whirled around to face him. "Leave...With your permission, right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes"

I punched my fist into the air and walked around, knowing how much I would have to pay later for my attitude. Later could wait though. I had plans for now.

Nathan's POV

"You're treading on broken glass, pal"

I looked up to see a brown haired woman walking towards me, the same woman that had come looking for Haley a couple of minutes ago. She smiled kindly at me as she walked towards me.

"Sorry?" I blinked, not clearly getting what she was saying.

"They say love finds you when you're not looking" she said as she stood next to me. "Did you know that it also pulls you down that path you shouldn't take?"

"Shouldn't take?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Should never take" she said firmly.

I nodded at her, wondering if I was really that transparent. We stood in silence for a moment, staring up at the sky as we leaned against the railing. The day was at that moment where the sun wasn't ready to leave and the moon wasn't ready to come out. The sky was dimmed in certain areas yet patches of blue were still showing. A streak of gold light ran across the sky, highlighting the obvious difference between night and day.

"Why?"

"I'm Karen" she said, ignoring my question.

"Nathan" I said, holding out my hand.

"Oh, I know who you are. Question is do you know who she is?"

I blinked again. "Haley? Yes, I know who she is"

"Good" she nodded. "Would you be a dear and tell me?"

I was taken aback before answering "Her name is Haley James. She's on the ship with her mother and her fiancée. I've only met her once before by accident. We were both standing near the outside deck alone and we... just started talking one day" I lied.

She nodded before saying "Do you also know that the sky is green and rabbits talk?"

"Sorry?"

"We both know you're lying, Nathaniel"

I didn't say anything. Didn't trust myself to speak. I just held my breath waiting for her to speak.

"The raven with the broken wing, right?"

I slowly turned to face her. Karen Lee. I remember now.

I nodded. "The raven with the broken wing" I said softly.

"Fate's been unkind to us, Nathan"

"Not you"

"Do I look like I'm where I'm supposed to be?"

I paused. "No"

"I don't belong here. And neither do you. Come to think of it, neither does she"

"Haley?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"Maybe fate is giving you her compensation".

"Haley isn't compensation"

"Not to you. She never was to you"

"I can't let go"

"Then don't"

"She belongs to another man, Miss Lee"

"Karen please Nathan. After all we have known each other a long time now, haven't we?"

"She is going to get married to another man"

"Your point being? The wedding hasn't happened yet"

"She doesn't remember me"

This time she blinked, looking confused. "I never knew it was possible"

"What was?"

"That she could forget you out all people!" she took a deep breath. "So, you succeeded?"

"Yes. And I walked away" 

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't go down that path that love pulls you to. Someone once told me to never do that"

She smiled ruefully and said before walking away "Whoever who told you that must be a bitter old woman, Mr. Scott"

Haley's POV

"I can't see my legs" I said loudly to an empty room. No one yelled at me to keep my voice down. I grinned then took a few steps backwards to take in my whole reflection in the mirror. The dress was an old one that I never wore. It had been a gift from an old friend of my father's but my mother had forbidden me to wear it. It was a pretty dress; lace mounted on cobweb silk and the color of the silk was brighter than the lace, making the dress stand out. It was a figure hugging dress and it fell loosely to my ankles. The silk was blue and the lace was black so to match it, I nearly wore one blue shoe and one black.

But knowing that I planned on impressing today, I decided on blue heels. I finished dressing and reached for my hairbrush as a form of habit. Then I withdrew my hand and ran my hair through my long dark hair. "Not today" I said smiling as I reached for the door.

I was already on the outside deck looking around for him when it struck me that I was in way over my head. I couldn't just walk up to a man I wasn't even to wed and...It was ridiculous. I turned around, my courage wavering when I suddenly found myself face to face with those familiar blue eyes. I felt myself wind milling backwards but he wrapped his arm around my waist and steadied me, pulling me closer to him.

"Hi" I whispered.

"Hi" he said softly. "It's been awhile"

"Too long" I murmured before pulling myself back to Earth. "I mean" I said pushing away from him.

He looked at me. "You look nice"

Not exactly the jaw dropping, eyes widening, heart stopping reaction I wanted from him but better than nothing.

"Thank you"

"Are you going somewhere?"

"Well, yeah" I said smiling at him. "I thought you were going to take me to a real party?"

**Hey, okay this chapter is pretty confusing but it will all make sense in a while. First of all, I am really sorry for the late update, the problem is that I've been so busy I only have time to update once in awhile but I promise that if I get a lot of reviews, I will update maybe even by the start of next week. Anyway, hoped you like this chapter. Please review. Thanks! **


	14. Forget To Remember

"So, you call this a party

"So, you call this a party?"

I glanced around the crowded smoked filled room. People were running around, laughing and screaming, dancing. People were living. It was the scene I had always pictured in my mind. A scene where people smiled and laughed at you just because they wanted to, not because they had to. And to complete the perfect picture, Nathan stood beside me, wearing a dark shirt and looking like a knight in shining armor.

Nathan stuffed his hands into his pocket and turned to face me with a smirk. "I'm sorry if we don't have the caviar or staff you're used to"

I shrugged. "It's okay, just don't count on me to have fun"

He glanced at me. "Bet you ten francs you'll be singing a different tune at the end of the night"

"You're that cocky, huh?"

"I prefer the word confident"

"You're on mister"

He grinned. "Come on" he said grabbing my hand and leading me into the room. I couldn't help staring at his hand in mine, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by his touch and only a sense of familiarity. He had held my hand before.

Before I had a chance to ponder the thought, he sat me down in a table filled with a bunch of rowdy buff men drinking beer by the jug and smoking.

"I'm telling you man! Women are useless, we're better off without them!" a really big guy was saying in the seat next to me. As if to prove his point, he took a huge gulp of beer and sat back and burped. I wrinkled my nose but paused in the act. I would not be my mother.

"Haley, this is Jake, Tim, Joey, Sam, Pete, Junk, Fergie and Antwon" Nathan said as he pointed to each person on the table.

"Skills, man" 'Antwon drawled, puffing on his pipe.

"Sorry, Antwon who'd prefer being called Skills"

"Pleasure to meet you baby" Skills said, his face covered by a cloud of smoke.

"I'll just go and get you something to drink" Nathan said as he rested his hand on my shoulder. He smiled at me encouragingly and then turned to leave. I watched his retreating back then turned to face the huge group of men in front of me.

"So, Cally. I've got a question for you" the big guy said. I think he was the one called Sam.

"It's Haley" I said awkwardly.

"Tomato, potato" Sam said swinging his cigar around. "Do you want to hear my question?"

"Well. I'd have to if I'm supposed to answer it" I said, taking my hankie from my pocket and wiping the edge of the table. It looked really dirty from where I was sitting.

"Okay, come here" Sam whispered. He motioned for me to come closer. I wrinkled my nose for real this time. I leaned in and tried not to breathe the strong smell of alcohol that came from him. He was obviously slightly high and the last thing I wanted was for me to land in an awkward situation with a drunk.

"Why are women" Same began in hushed tones. The others leaned towards the table. "So peculiar?" he continued then looked at me expectedly.

"That was the question?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Well yeah" Sam said looking pretty offended. I think he was proud of asking such an insightful question. I immediately felt bad.

"Well" I said slowly, resting my hand on the table top. I immediately regretted my action and raised my hand to find a layer of grease forming on my palm. "If you ask me, I would have to say that it is a pretty vague question. Peculiar in what way, I must ask?" I said, looking around for something to wipe my hand on.

I looked up to find the men staring at me like I had grown a green ear.

"See, that's what we mean. Why'd you have to speak like that?" Tim, the small boyish looking man who sat in the corner of the table. "You're cramping us up, man"

"Speak like what?" I asked, finally wiping my hand on my dress. I would rather this rich gorgeous dress get dirty than me because there just might be a slight chance that I would not get blamed for a dirty dress.

But I think I'm just being too optimistic.

"Like you're talking to the Queen" Pete piped up. He was a dirty looking chap with really shifty eyes and fidgeted every time he breathed.

I laughed lightly, aware that Nathan had been gone a long time. "It's polite to speak like that in society"

"Well, I got news for you lady, you're not in society anymore" Sam said, draining his beer and belching loudly.

"Maybe that's the reason why women are so odd around you, you act like a mule" I pointed out to him.

There was a long silence and everyone immediately hushed up. I swore the bar went quiet. Sam slowly turned his big head to stare at me. Everyone else in the table was shifting their eyes from me to Sam then back to me. I tensed up, worried that Sam was going to throw a punch at me or something. Where was Nathan anyway?

Then, suddenly Sam threw his head back and started laughing. Everyone else hesitated then started laughing as well. The music started again in the bar and people started dancing. I let out a sigh of relief.

"You're a piece of work lady" Sam said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. Everyone else around the table was still laughing. "A mule, haha, that's a good one! Hey Nathan" Sam said turning around in his chair. "Get my lady here a drink".

I turned around to see Nathan behind my chair holding a four bottles of beer. He winked at me and I smiled back. He leaned down to place the bottles on the table and in the process he mouthed you okay to me. I nodded and he grinned lopsidedly.

"So, what have you been talking about?" Nathan said grabbing a chair from the next table and pulling it so that he was sitting directly opposite me in the large round table. I was disappointed that he wasn't sitting next to me but then again, the night was still young.

"Women" Sam said gruffly. He turned to face me, his eyes bright. "So, you are saying women don't like to be treated badly?"

"No, I'm saying humans don't like to be treated badly" I said.

There was another round of laughter to which I honestly thought to myself that these men were either morons, really drunk or found me to resemble an amusing pet.

"Have a drink, lady. On me!" Sam said loudly grabbing a bottle on the table and sliding it to me.

"No, it's alright, thank you. I don't drink" I said politely crossing my hands in my lap.

A hush went up in the bar.

"You don't drink" Sam said in a hushed voice.

"What do you do at night?" Tim asked, his eyes widening.

"Um, read?" I shrugged throwing my hands up into the air.

That did it. Sam and his buddies exchanged glances with each other, clearly trying not to laugh.

"Well, I didn't realize we were in the presence of such a fine and dignified _intellectual_ such as yourself, ma'am" Sam said, politely.

"Oh, shut up" I said annoyed. "Give me that bottle".

"Haley, I don't think you should" Nathan started clearly worried.

But it was to late, the bottle was already in my hand and halfway to my lips. I took a deep breath and toasted Sam. "To you, you big great mule" I said and placed the rim of the bottle to my lips. I tilted the bottle back and started drinking.

It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. The strong liquid went down my throat and the guys started shouting 'chug chug'. I wondered what that word meant but my mind was a cloudy haze before I could ponder on it.

I finish the drink and dropped the bottle on the table. "That was good" I said, brightly. "Can I have another?"

Everyone started laughing and someone slid a bottle of beer to me. I caught it and grinned at Sam. He was a nice guy after all, teaching me the benefits of drinking.

"So, Sam old boy. Which lady's got the hooks on you?" I asked, trying to open this bottle of beer. The cork was wedged in tight and I tried using my nails to pull it.

Sam leaned in to me. "See that lady sitting in the corner there?" he asked, pointing to this really gorgeous fat woman in a blue strapless dress.

"Her?" I asked, nodding. "Well, you're one lucky fellow there Sam" I said, biting on the cork of the bottle and trying to pull it out with my teeth.

"Lucky?" Skills spoke up. "He's only lucky if she's into him"

"She's not?" I said, my mouth still on the cork of the bottle. Nathan finally took pity on me and grabbed the bottle from me. He pulled open the bottle and handed it back to me.

Sam blushed, he actually blushed. "Well, the thing is…"

"It's okay matey, if she ain't into you" I said, sipping the bottle this time. Ah, the heck with it. I tilted my head back and drained it again. "But you gotta learn to move on if she rejected you"

"She didn't" Jake pointed out. He was this really cute guy with the sweetest dark brown eyes that was filled with… I don't know, niceness I guess.

"You mean she's playing you along?" I asked, wiping my mouth on my sleeve.

"No, she doesn't know he's into her" Tim said.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't know he exists" Junk spoke up.

"Well, what are you waiting for, Sammy boy? No time like the present" I said, letting out a little hiccup. "Can I have another?"

"Hales, I really think you should stop" Nathan said, alarmed.

"Oh, you're no fun," I said, waving my hand at him. "Jake, be a darling and get me one, would you? And you" I said, pointing my finger at the big guy. "Um…You…"

"Sam" he said, helpfully.

"Yeah, Sam" I hiccupped. "You need to go over there and tell her you like her pearls"

"Her pearls?" Sam asked, confused.

"Yeah, that white thing around her neck. Tell her it's pretty. And you want to know where she got them" I said, smiling at Jake when he slid the beer at me.

Sam looked at his beer thoughtfully. "I'm thinking you're right Haley"

"Of course I'm right. Hey, waiter!" I yelled at the bartender. "Get my friends here a round of drinks on me"

Three drinks each later, and we were still going strong. Nathan was the only one who didn't seem affected. That boy can hold his drink.

"So, I say to her, 'Mumma, I ain't marrying him' and you know what she says?" I said, swaying slightly on my chair. I grabbed the chair to stop from sliding off.

"What?" Fergie asked, burping.

"She says "Haley, you are'".

"No!" Joey said, shocked.

"Yes and then she adds 'And you're not sitting straight honey'".

"Appalling" Tim says.

"She actually calls you 'honey'?" Jake asked in a disgusted tone.

"That's not the point. She told me to sit straight" I said, wondering where my bottle went. It doesn't matter. I grabbed a new one from the table.

"She actually told you to sit straight? How dare she? Girl, you slouch all you want" Skills spoke up. I wondered where he was from, talking like that. He was an odd fellow but he sure was cute. Not my type, I don't think I had a type but he sure was going to make some girl very happy.

"And… Get this okay? Are you listening?" I asked, draining my bottle in one go. "She thinks I actually love him"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nathan leaning in to listen better. He looked at me curiously and I felt a voice in my head telling me to shut up but I was too drunk to listen.

"You don't?" Sam asked.

I frowned. I stared at the empty bottle in my hand. "Hey, who drank my beer?"

"It's a sad thing when you don't love the one you're with" Fergie said in a sad tone. Junk wrapped his arms wound his shoulder and they started singing some sad song in Latin.

Another song suddenly came on. I jumped to my feet. "Would any of you fine gentlemen like to dance?" I asked, swaying slightly on my feet.

Pete and Joey jump up to their feet and I smiled at them as we started to walk to the center of the bar. I started moving, waving my arms around and swaying my hips. I smiled and twirled at them. Pretty soon, everyone from our table with the exception of Nathan came up and started dancing. We must have danced at least five songs, screaming and jumping away. From the corner of my eye, I saw a couple of girls sitting down at the table with Nathan. They were tall, gorgeous things and they were giggling and smiling as they rested their hand on his arm. Even in my drunken stupor, I felt a flash of annoyance. No, no, Nathan belongs to me.

I snapped out of it, wondering where that thought came from. I was getting married to someone else. He was free to do whatever he wanted.

Still, I couldn't shake that frustrated thought of my head so with a toss of my long brown hair, I walked to the table where Nathan was sitting.

"Excuse me ladies" I said, politely. They looked up at me annoyed. "Nathan, may I have this dance?" I asked him. He looked at me surprised then he grinned at me like he was amused.

"Anything you want, beautiful" Nathan said as he grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. I think I saw Jake walk over to a corner of the bar and pretty soon, the music died down. People started booing but then there was the sound of the strumming of a guitar. I looked over at Jake to find him sitting on a stool with a guitar in his arms.

And he started playing. The most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I looked up at Nathan and his eyes crinkled into a smile. He took my arms and wrapped them around my neck as he wrapped his around my waist. And we were dancing, not the tango, or the cha cha cha my mother had made me learn over the years. We were just swaying to the music. Across the room, I saw Sam go to his sweetie and ask her for a dance. Pretty soon, they were dancing beside us. And the other guys were laughing as they danced together. I looked up at Nathan and he smiled down at me and I think that was the most perfect moment of my life. I couldn't tear my eyes from Nathan and for a moment, my mind cleared up. I wasn't sober but the high feeling I had was gone. I looked up at Nathan and for a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me.

But then the song ended. And the moment was gone. And suddenly I belonged once again to another man.

Nathan unwrapped his arms from around my waist and I did the same.

"I should take you back" he said quietly.

I nodded and said "let me say goodbye first"

I walked over to the guys and bid my farewell. They started moaning and grumbling, begging me not to leave but looking at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room, I knew that I had overstayed. I had to go back. They forced to have one last drink for the road and I drained my last beer one last time. And again, my mind went into a cloudy haze. I giggled as I waved farewell to them. Sam couldn't see me, he was too busy kissing his girlfriend.

"Woah, watch yourself" Nathan said as I stumbled up the stairs off the bar. "You alright?"

I giggled as I threw open the door onto the deck. "Isn't it a beautiful night, Nathan? Look at the stars" I said swaying slightly on my feet.

Nathan chuckled. "It sure it. Easy" he cautioned me as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Don't do that Nathan" I suddenly grumbled, pulling myself out from his grasp. "Don't touch me"

"Okay" he said, slowly as he pulled away from me, slightly hurt.

"You just don't get it, do you?" I said, shaking my head.

"No, I don't"

"I'm getting _married_. Do you know what that means? Married. It's quite a funny word" I frowned. "Married" I said, pronouncing every syllable clearly.

"I know"

"No, you don't" I sighed, letting out a hiccup. "Beer is good huh?"

"Haley?" 

'Really good"

"Do you love him?"

"Why are you like this?" I suddenly said.

"Like what?"

"Why do you feel like you have to understand me? I don't even understand myself"

"I don't know. It just seems like something I have to do"

"You think this is easy for me?" I continued like I hadn't even heard him. "Darn, I knew I should have had one last drink"

"You did" he pointed out.

"I didn't ask you to come out of nowhere and whisk me off my feet. I didn't ask for this. I knew that I was going to marry Lucas before I met you. I knew where my life was headed before I met you. And now, nothing makes sense to me anymore. I don't know where I'm going. And it's all your fault"

Without noticing I had nearly walked into a drain. He quickly grabbed me and pulled me aside.

"You see, there you do it again!" I said, hiccupping. I swayed slightly on my feet. "You're always there for me. You're always looking out for me. How can you blame me for falling for you?" I muttered annoyed.

"I'm sorry Haley"

"And then you have to act like a perfect gentlemen" I scoffed. I looked up at him to see him looking at me with an expression I couldn't fathom. "And the worst thing about this is your eyes"

"My eyes?" he looked puzzled.

I reached up and ran my hand lightly over his face. "Your eyes" I said, curiously. "Seem strangely familiar. Almost like I've spent a whole lifetime looking into them" I frowned and leaned closer to him so we were nose to nose. "Do I know you Nathan?" I whispered.

HE pulled back slightly. "I have to get you back"

"Fine! Be that way!" I said, pushing away from him. "Don't tell me. But if you think I don't realize that we've met before, you're clearly mistaken"

"You're drunk" he said as if to reassure himself. He looked disturbed.

"So, what! It doesn't mean I won't remember, Nathan. And if you won't tell me, then it's alright. Because one of these days I'm going to wake and remember everything and you know what Nathan?"

"What?" he said softly.

"That will be the day that everything will be okay again"

"Come on Hales" he said, grabbing my hand.

"No! I have to ask you something" I said, pulling my hand away from him.

"What?" he asked.

I take a deep breath. "You can tell me because I won't remember it in the morning"

"What is it Haley?"

"Are you in love with me?"

He looks at me with those dark blue eyes for the longest time but didn't say anything. I stared back at him in silence and I know he will never have to answer the question. I can already see it in his eyes.

I walk into my room quietly, not wanting to wake Momma up. As I lay my head on my pillow, and pull my covers up, I am reminded of a phrase I had forgotten to remember.

Always and Forever

Nathan Scott walked up to his cabin and sat down on his bed in the darkness. His fingers were clutching the ten francs she had given him before she had bid him goodbye. As he stared out his window, staring at the deep blue sea beneath the surface when the fish swam and the whales sang, he said softly 'she remembers'


End file.
